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“It’s a shame,” he said with a sigh. “I liked when you were still growin’, kiddo.”
“Yeah, I know,” I replied with a smile.
He’d been saying that for five years, and it always tugged at my heart. I had never worked up the courage to ask him if he said that because he missed me as a child or because he missed mom and how our family was back then. Hearing those words always made me feel for him and wish he could find a way to get over the divorce and move on with his life - like mom did.
“Now it’s your turn,” I informed, changing the subject. Dad stood a little taller as I looked at him. Imitating him, I nodded and tapped my index finger over my lips. “The hair is a little grayer, the beard is a little longer, but you still look like Dad. Also, you may be starting to shrink.”
His deep laugh echoed around us, and the sound warmed my heart. He bumped his shoulder against mine and grabbed my suitcases.
“How did you get to be such a smart ass?” he asked.
“It’s inherited,” I deadpanned as I followed him toward the airport’s parking lot.
As we walked toward his truck, he asked for updates, and I gave him the low down. Since we talked all the time, I didn’t have much important news to give, so I just filled him in on my newfound hatred toward Peter Clarke and my overall disappointment in adulthood. In my annoyed excitement, I also ended up babbling about how much going back to my childhood room and small-town life would suck after two years of living in Italy and four in New York City.
“Don’t be unfair, Chloe,” he admonished me while placing my luggage on the back of his brand-new Ram. “You’ve always loved living at the ranch. Can six years of living away really change your mind like that?”
Taken back by the sternness in his voice, I turned to look at him and saw hurt in his hazel eyes as he made his way to the driver’s side. The reaction shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did. Mom told him basically the same thing right before she left for a corporate job across the ocean.
Although she loved us and admired Dad for building a very successful—and profitable—horse-breeding empire from the ground up, the small-town life he loved so much eventually became too monotonous to keep her interest. He was heartbroken when she left him and relocated the two of us to Rome. Deep down, I knew he feared I would one day disappear into the cement and smog of a big city just like she did.
Feeling like a jerk, I followed him into the truck. Even though his face was strained and he refused to look at me, I reached for his hand and focused my eyes on him.
“It didn’t change my mind. I still love it here,” I assured him with all the honesty I could muster. When he finally turned his eyes to me again, I added, “I’m just frustrated and feeling like a complete loser. I guess I always assumed that by the time I was twenty-two and graduated I would have accomplished something. But here I am, back at my Dad’s house with no job, no income, and totally screwed.”
The sadness that had previously been in Dad’s eyes morphed into indignation.
He started as he looked away from me and cranked up the engine. “Not making it in New York—or anywhere else, for that matter—has nothing to do with being good enough. You're incredible, and I’m not saying that because you’re my kid. I’m saying that because it’s true.”
Trying not to smile like a little girl at those words was damn near impossible. However, before I had a chance to comment or thank him for lifting my spirits, Dad added, “As for accomplishing somethin’, you finished college with a 4.0 GPA. That’s more than a lot of people can say.”
“Dad, you know I love you and appreciate your efforts to lift me up, but your accolades won’t pay the bills. I still don’t have a job.”
“Not for long.” My brows pulled together with curiosity as we entered the highway. A wide grin curled on Dad’s lips as he continued. “Conner came over to the house last weekend, and we were talkin’ about you finally coming back home and looking for jobs. He said that since Quinn’s passing, Blackwater hasn’t had a good administrator and he’s in serious need of professional help. You know how Conner is – a pro with horses and tools, but a hot mess with papers and computers.”
As Dad laughed at the expense of his best friend, my heart started to beat so fast I was sure it was plotting an escape from my ribcage. Blackwater Ranch & Resort was the reason I originally chose Hotel Management as my major, and Conner Wilkes was the reason I loved that place so much.
Growing up, my Dad worked for the same ranch as Conner and since the first day they met they were stuck to each other like glue. Even though they had a four year age difference, it was as if they were always meant to be best friends. They had the same interest in horseback riding, sports, and women. They were both complete players, with their fair share of conquests over the years.
My Dad settled down early and got married to mom at age twenty I was born one year later. Conner had been only sixteen at the time so naturally he treated me like his baby sister. Despite being my father’s best friend, Conner was young enough to keep me from seeing him as an uncle like most kids do with their parents’ friends. To me, he was always Conner—the cool older friend who took me to summer fairs, concerts and taught me how to find the constellations in the sky. As we grew up, he became less of a friend to me and more like a hot crush.
For years, I worshiped the ground he stepped on, while he continued to look at me as just a cool kid. On my sixteen birthday, Conner took me out to my first concert to see Cold Play. It was a memorable night for many reasons, but mostly because I experienced my first orgasm that night alone in my bed. Since then, I always thought about Conner when I had the urge touch myself.
It bothered me that I could never get close to Conner like I wanted. It was frustrating, and then, when he started dating Quinn, it became excruciating. Conner always had a bad boy image and everyone who knew him could tell that Quinn was different from the girls he usually dated. She was sweet, funny, and a keeper. She was the kind of girl a guy marries, and he did. He married Quinn and I had my first ever heartbreak.
Soon after, they had a baby and I asked mom to take me to Rome with her just so I could be away from the two of them. It took me a while, but the distance allowed me to finally forget him—or at least stop wishing for a future with him. Even with so many miles apart, his memory pulled at me from time to time. I hated that I couldn’t get over him, or have a normal relationship with another guy. I had Conner to blame for being a twenty-two-year-old virgin. It was almost embarrassing, but as much as I tried to move on, no guy could ever come close to Conner. Pathetic, I know.
When I heard about Quinn’s tragic accident, my heart broke for Conner, and it made me feel like a complete jerk for ignoring him for so many years. I had been a selfish brat, and it left me five thousand miles away when he needed a friend the most.
The sound of my Dad’s fingers snapping in front of my face pulled me from my reverie.
“You okay sport?”
“Oh yeah. Sorry Dad, I guess I’m still kind of exhausted from the flight. I appreciate you for thinking of me. I guess it doesn’t sound like such a bad idea.”
Maybe this chance to help Conner would finally make up for my errors in the past. I couldn’t tell if it was the jet lag or high altitude from the flight, but I suddenly felt encouraged to take this opportunity and make the best of it. I turned sideways on my seat and grilled my Dad for details about the job. Finally, I was actually glad to be home.
CHAPTER TWO – CONNER WILKES
