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Instead, I went back home to my empty house. When I stepped inside, I could practically hear my breath echo through the place. I’d never felt more alone in my life. With a sigh, I went into the living room and grabbed a book off the coffee table. If nothing else, I could spend the day relaxing.
My phone rang before I had a chance to read more than a page. I saw Josh’s name flash across the screen. I thought about ignoring it, letting it go to voicemail. I was still angry with my brother for everything he’d said to Julie. But it was Christmas Eve. And he was still my brother.
“Hey,” I said, pressing the phone to my ear. “Merry Christmas.”
“You too,” Josh said. His voice was guarded.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I want to see you,” Josh said simply. “It’s Christmas Eve. Plus, I really think we should talk.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off. I knew Josh meant well, but the idea of seeing him made my stomach churn. I didn’t know if I was ready for that.
“Are you with your parents today?” Josh asked. “Because we can always meet up tomorrow or—”
“No,” I said quickly. “I’m not with my parents. I’m home.”
“Great,” Josh said. “Then, can I come by?”
“Sure.” I sighed. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
“Okay,” Josh said. “Well, I’ll see you in like an hour.”
“Great.”
We hung up, and I tossed my phone on the couch beside me. Dread filled my chest, but I tried to push it away. I needed to confront him about what had gone down with Julie. Did he really still love her, or was he just pissed that she was with me? Why had he told her that I knew who she was? What was the point of all of that? I was still incredibly pissed.
Deep down, I knew Josh and I needed to work things out. We couldn’t hate each other forever. Not after missing so much of each other’s lives. Still, when I thought about the things he said to Julie, my face flushed with rage.
I paced around the house for the better part of an hour. If I kept moving, I could keep my anger at bay. Josh would be there soon, and when he arrived, I didn’t want to start a fight. We both deserved a chance to have a nice Christmas Eve. If we could do that together, then that would be even better.
When I couldn’t pace anymore, I drove down the road to pick up some food. Only one place was open in town, so my choices were limited. I picked up a quick lunch for two and then made my way back home. When I pulled into my driveway, Josh was getting out of his car.
“Hey,” Josh said when he saw me. “I thought you were home.”
“I was,” I said. “Just went to grab us some food.”
“Oh,” Josh said. He smiled nervously. “Great. I’m starving.”
We went inside and sat down in the living room to eat. We didn’t speak much at first. The food was a nice distraction from each other, but eventually, we ran out of things to eat, and the conversation began to pick up.
“So,” I said. “How’s the residency?”
“Exhausting,” Josh said. “I’m ready for a break, but that won’t happen for a while.”
“But you still like it?” I asked.
“Definitely,” Josh said with a nod. “I love being a doctor. I can’t imagine doing anything else.”
I nodded and stared out the window. Josh followed my gaze and then looked around the room. Neither of us knew how t
o be around each other anymore. It was as if Julie had wedged a permanent gap between us, and yet, it wasn’t even her fault.
“Have you talked to her?” Josh finally asked.
I couldn’t believe he would dare ask me about Julie. After taking her to dinner and selling me out, I thought he had enough sense to avoid saying her name around me.
“Yes,” I said. “I went to her place on Friday, and she promptly kicked me out.”
