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“What are you thinking about?” Bethany asked as she came outside to join me.
“Michael,” I said simply.
“Still missing him?” Bethany asked.
“More than ever,” I said. “It’s Christmas. I just wish things could be different.”
“They can be,”
Bethany said.
I nodded but didn’t say anything. Bethany was so sure that everything could be fixed. She tried to convince me that one phone call would solve all my problems. It felt naïve. Ridiculous. There was no way I could just pick up the phone and call Michael. Not after ignoring him for days.
“He wouldn’t want to talk to me,” I said. “Not now.”
“Didn’t he call you last night?” Bethany asked.
“How do you know that?” I asked.
Bethany shrugged. “I looked at your phone.”
“Seriously?” I snapped.
“I’m your big sister,” Bethany said. “If I can’t pry, then who can?”
“You’re insane.” I shook my head, but Bethany was totally unfazed.
“Just call him,” Bethany said. “You miss him.”
“I do,” I said with a sigh. “I wish we could have spent today together. I wanted him to meet you and Bryan and Layla. I was even willing to bring him around Mom and Dad.”
“Poor guy,” Bethany said.
I glared at her. “But then everything changed,” I said.
“I know it did,” Bethany said. “But who says you can’t change it back?”
“Because life doesn’t work that way,” I said defiantly. “You can’t just snap your fingers and make things perfect again.”
“Look,” Bethany said. She moved closer to me. “The only thing standing in your way right now is you. You’re miserable, and it’s all your fault.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
“I’m serious,” Bethany said. “I know you’re hurting. I know Joshua messed you up and that this whole thing with Michael is complicated and painful. Okay? I get that. But right now, all you can do is move forward.”
“How do I do that?” I asked.
“You either let go,” Bethany said. “And forget about both Michael and Joshua for good. Or you call the man you love to make things right.”
“Love?” I blinked.
“We both know how you feel,” Bethany said. “So, don’t try to deny it.”
I looked down at my shoes. Bethany wasn’t wrong. My feelings for Michael were stronger than I ever imagined they could be. Despite all the pain he’d caused me, I still couldn’t shake him. Letting go was impossible when it meant cutting Michael out of my life forever. No matter how hurt I was, I knew I’d never be able to do that.
“We have to get Layla home,” Bethany said. “Just think about it, okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I will.”
