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“My turn! My turn!” Zoey said. “I bet I can stay up longer than daddy!”
“I bet you can,” I said, ruffling her hair. “I bet anyone could.”
“Hush, you did great,” Emma said, patting me playfully on the chest. “You had great form until you turned to look at Zoey. But that's going to be one of the next lessons, learning to maintain your balance once you're up and moving.”
“Come on, Emma,” Zoey said, pulling on Emma's arm.
“Okay, okay,” Emma said, “Let's go.”
Emma was going out with Zoey for her first time. Not only for safety, but also to guide her. I watched as my two girls – my girlfriend and my daughter – dropped their boards with a splash and paddled out in the water.
I was a tiny bit nervous as I watched them paddling out. But, I figured that was normal. Most anybody would probably be nervous watching the two women they loved out on the open water like that, but I had faith that Emma knew what she was doing. I trusted her with Zoey. She was probably the only person alive I trusted with my kids aside from myself. And as far as surfing went, there was absolutely nobody I trusted more than Emma.
As soon as they got far enough out, Emma and Zoey got into position. Slowly, they both stood up. Zoey managed to nail it on her first try, just as I thought she would. She'd been practicing for some time and was more than eager to show off her skills to everybody. Emma was talking to her, walking her through everything they needed to do to maintain their balance and not fall off. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could see it.
Zoey wasn't up for long, though, she was still probably on her feet longer than I had been, before she fell off the board and splashed into the water. Emma quickly jumped in after her and I sucked in a breath. My heart raced as I waited for them both to come back up. It seemed to take forever and I was growing nervous as a wave crashed onto shore.
“Daddy, where are they?” Zack asked me.
“I'm sure they're fine,” I said, but my mouth grew dry. “You wait here, buddy. Daddy is going to – ”
I started to say I was going to help, but that's when I saw Emma and Zoey's heads pop up over the wave. They were fine, in fact, they were laughing together. Emma helped Zoey get back on the board and they tried again. This time, she stayed up even longer, raising her hands above her head, a wide smile plastered on her face. Emma applauded and cheered as my daughter stood upright, and then managed to fall off into the water again.
They practiced a few more times and each time, she stayed on her feet a little bit longer before they fell into the water again. And each time it happened, I felt my heart sink. But every single time, they popped back above water laughing together and were perfectly were fine. Zoey was a strong swimmer and she had Emma at her side, watching over her, as well. Emma had been trained as a lifeguard as well, she knew what she was doing. Still, the idea of losing someone else I loved weighed heavily on me every time one of them fell off. After losing Gina, it had become one of my biggest and most perpetual fears
Zack held my hand and looked up at me. “I don't want to do that, daddy,” he said.
“You don't have to, buddy,” I said, ruffling his hair. “If you don't want any more surfing lessons, you don't have to take them.”
“Good,” he said.
He plopped down in the sand and starting digging, building a sand castle instead. As I watched him, I marveled over my two kids. They really couldn't have been any more different from one another if they'd tried, but that was okay. I'd let them be who they were and to never conform to somebody else's view of who or what they should be. I'd told them to never let people force them into doing things they just didn't want to do. I'd always let them make their own mistakes and discover what made them happy, even if it scared me. After all, it was their life to live, not mine, and they needed to be the person they wanted to be, to do the things that made the fires inside of them burn the brightest. All I could do was be there to support them, cheer them on, and pick them up if they fell.
I was going to let them discover who they were on their own without my interference. After all, being a father was so much more than just protecting them, you also had to know when to let go.
When Emma and Zoey came back to shore, Zoey was out of breath but was grinning like a fiend. She ran up to me and smiled wide.
“Did you see that? Emma says I'm a natural!”
“She really is” Emma said. “Not to sound cocky or arrogant, but she reminds me a lot of myself when I was her age. She's got really good balance and coordination for someone her age. I think with some practice, she can be really, really good.”
My kids were happy. I was happy. For the first time in my life, I'd taken some risks, big risks, and they'd paid off big time. Not only were my kids discovering more about themselves, I'd somehow managed to find love again. It wasn't easy and it was scary, but opening myself up to those emotions again had been the best thing I'd ever done. And I'd even managed to balance myself on a surfboard for a few moments.
No matter what else came after, I'd call that a win.
EPILOGUE
A YEAR LATER
MARCUS
“Here we are!” I said, opening the door to our new home.
I looked over at Emma, who was smiling wide, as we walked through the door to our new beachfront home. With things getting serious between Emma and myself, living next door to her parents was no longer ideal. Her father, while not outwardly hostile anymore, hadn't quite warmed up to me. Whenever he looked at me, I could see the anger in his eyes, and relations between me and her folks, not to mention many of the others in the neighborhood, had grown decidedly frosty.
It hurt to leave the home I'd bought with Gina behind, but in the end, it was time for a new chapter. With Emma now a part of my life a fresh start, in a fresh place was the best thing for all of us. The last thing I ever wanted her to feel was that she had Gina's ghost looking over her shoulder, something she might have felt had we stayed in my old house.
That fresh start and new chapter in life also included leaving my old job behind and doing something I always dreamed of doing, owning my own restaurant. Business was booming, it had been a smart choice to do it when I did. My restaurant was a hit around the city and I couldn't be happier.
