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“Yeah.” Zac drew the razor down his cheek, cursing his bad judgment. “But it was never the right time to say, ‘By the way, I have an old girlfriend staying at my place.’”
“Bad call.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. “She can’t think you and I are still together.”
“I’m sure she doesn’t. But she still got all frosty and bristly. And because I’m a nosy person, I made a point of talking about how long you and I had known each other and how much we’d been through together, and how special you were to me, blah, blah, blah.”
“Jackie...” He was not amused by that game.
“I knew you’d never do something sensible like ask her how she felt or tell her how you were feeling, so I figured I’d help move things along. I’m telling you, she was ready to set me on fire. If she wasn’t totally crazy about you, why would she care what you and I meant to each other a long time ago?”
“Hmm.” Zac’s heart started going a little nutty in his chest. “Interesting logic.”
“Well, then, of course I felt bad for putting her through that, so I made it clear nothing had happened between us in years, nor would it, and we ended with a nice chat and hugs all around. But I’m telling you, Zac, Chris is in love with you.”
Thank God men didn’t use straight razors anymore, or he would have cut his chin off. “She can’t feel that strongly yet.”
“Don’t you?”
Yes. The answer hit him with simple clarity. It made no sense. They hadn’t known each other long enough, they hadn’t had time to discover each other’s values, to know if they had the same rhythms and habits, all the things that made the difference between success and failure in a relationship. But he already knew he’d never felt this way about anyone else. Maybe it was just cowardice that had kept him from labeling the emotion.
He lowered the razor and stared at himself, face half covered in lather.
“I thought so.” Jackie was clearly smug. “So, Zac, dear, my job here is done and I need to concentrate on driving. It was great to see you. Be good. Oh, and invite me to the wedding, okay?”
He laughed, said a warm goodbye, and urged her to call again soon, hardly aware of what he was saying.
Chris was in love with him? Of course, that was just Jackie’s opinion, but she did have amazingly good intuition.
Around Zac, Chris had been determinedly casual, but he had thought a few times that her guard had slipped, that her warmth might be more than affection, that the vulnerability in her eyes might signify a deeper emotion.
He’d been afraid of wishful thinking. He still was. It was hard to imagine that his plan might have worked this fast, that they could establish a solid foundation as a couple so they could remain one after she left.
His phone rang again; he glanced at it absently. It was Gus.
Sorry, Gus. Zac picked up his razor and went back to work.
He had a friends-with-benefits date to prepare for, with a woman who might be ready to admit she wanted more.
* * *
MEDITATING WASN’T WORKING. Deep breathing and relaxation weren’t working. Positive visualization wasn’t working. Medication might work, but Chris couldn’t get to a doctor in time.
What had happened to the new her? Or the new new her? Argh. She might as well admit it. She hadn’t changed, not truly, not deep down. She was herself all over again and always would be—anxious, anal-retentive and about as free-spirited as a robot.
Everyone had tried to tell her—Eva, Summer in her quiet way and, of course, Zac.
No amount of tattoos, piercings or wigs could make her into someone else. She’d tossed the wig the moment she got home from work. Ditto the ear cuffs and the temporary hair dye. The tattoo she couldn’t erase, but she regretted ever getting it.
Okay, okay, she shouldn’t beat herself up too much. For one thing, self-flagellation was extremely unconstructive. For another, she had a date with Zac in half an hour and she needed to calm down enough to figure out how to play this. Because she was Old Chris, and always would be Old Chris, she was going to think the problem through in a neat outline form.
