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She giggled and stuck her tongue out at me. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. It felt so good to be back with Jenn again, laughing and talking the way we used to. I didn't realize until that moment just how much I'd missed her.
“In love with me? Now you're going way too far,” I said, shaking my head, but trying hard not to laugh. “It's not even like that. Besides, I told you I'm probably misreading the situation. But, even if I wasn't, I'm not really ready to date again. Not yet.”
That got a raised eyebrow and a curious look from Jenn. I hadn't talked about my ex back in California. I hadn't told her much – only, that I was seeing someone and now I wasn't. I wanted to keep it that way too. In my mind, the less I talked about it, the less real it became. And the less real it was, the less I had to deal with it.
And in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to not deal with it; to just pretend it had all never happened.
“Still hurting after your breakup, huh?” Jenn asked, obviously trying to get more of the story out of me in what she thought was a subtle way.
“No,” I scoffed. “Not in the least. I left him, remember?”
“Still doesn't mean you don't have a broken heart,” she said.
“I don't. Trust me,” I said.
My hands started shaking as unwanted memories of my time with Leo flooded my mind. The picture of his face, rising unbidden in my mind, filled me with a dark anger and an even darker feeling of dread. I gritted my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut, doing everything in my power to block everything out until I was able to calm myself down.
Jenn, sensing that something wasn't right, reached out and took my hands in hers, giving them a reassuring squeeze. I was so caught up in my own head that when I felt her hands on mine, I jumped, knocking my coffee all over the table and myself. Thankfully it wasn't scalding hot, but it was warm and wet – and my jeans were now soaked as I jumped up from the chair.
“Jesus Christ, Hailey, what's going on with you?” Jenn asked me, her eyes wide with surprise.
I stared back at my best friend, and felt my cheeks flush when I saw the expression of concern on her face. We both reached for the napkins on the table at the same time, our hands getting tangled up with one another.
“I'm so sor –”
I started to speak and then cut myself off when I caught sight of a familiar face coming through the front the door of the coffee house. Great. Just what I needed when I was as flustered and frustrated as I felt in that moment.
“Crap,” I groaned. “It's Cason.”
“Where?” she asked, dropping her napkins and turning to look at the door. When she spotted the tall, good looking man coming in, an approving grin spread across her face.
“Ah, so it is,” she said and then started waving at him like a loon. “Hey, Cason!”
I slapped her hand down as she waved at him and tried to shush her, not wanting to draw attention to the coffee soaked table – or my pants, which were also drenched. But it was too late,
Cason saw us, smiled, waved, and headed our way. I quickly sat down, hiding my legs underneath the table as I wiped up my mess, trying to avoid eye contact with him. My jeans were wet and clung to me uncomfortably. I took a shallow breath and realized that I smelled like a coffee pot. “Hailey, Jenn, how's it going?” he asked.
“Good, good,” Jenn said, talking as if they were old friends. “Care to join us?”
I was still busying myself, avoiding Cason's eyes by wiping down the table as best I could with the dinky little napkins the coffee house provided. But when she spoke, I sat straight up, a jolt of adrenaline shooting through me. With my heart pounding so hard I was sure they could both hear it, I shot Jenn a warning look.
“I'm sure he's gotta head into work –” I started to say.
“Actually, I'm off today,” Cason said, pulling up a chair and sitting down beside me. “It's totally rare, but it happens now and then.”
Jenn, with a gleam in her eye, gave me a mischievous look before turning back to Cason with a big smile on her face. I had no idea what she was up to, but the knots in my stomach told me that it probably wasn't going to be good.
“Speaking of which,” she said, “you guys left pretty quickly after the bonfire last night. I didn't even see you there.”
“What can I say? We were beat,” he said.
I noticed he was staring right at me. His golden-brown eyes were solely on me, as if there was nobody else in the room, even though he was speaking to Jenn. And as our eyes met, the look he gave me made the swarm of butterflies in my stomach start to batter my insides. I scolded myself, mentally, for even feeling that way. I wasn't ready to think that way about anyone, no matter how handsome he was. “So Hailey, what are you doing this evening?” Cason asked.
“Well, I think Jenn and I might be –”
“No, I can't,” Jenn said before I could finish.
I looked at her with eyes wide and my mouth hanging open. I couldn't believe she was hanging me out to dry like that. She just shrugged and gave me an “aw shucks” kind of smile.
