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The rest of the message fell on my ears painfully. The road turned into a blur in front of me. I pulled over to listen to the rest of the message.
Josh was in some sort of accident. He was admitted to a hospital in Dallas, and they were rushing him into emergency surgery. The other three messages were from nurses, informing me of his condition and reminding me which hospital he was in.
Without thinking, I threw my phone down and sped out of town. I was on the freeway in minutes, speeding toward Dallas. I couldn’t think about anything other than Josh. I imagined him lying in a hospital bed, alone and bleeding. I wondered how bad the accident was, how severe his injuries were, and how I could have been so stupid as to leave my phone off all day.
Julie crossed my mind as I pulled into the hospital parking lot. I thought about calling her or at least texting her to let her know I wouldn’t make it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I had tunnel vision as I tore through the hallways trying to find my brother’s room.
For days now, I’d been so angry with him. I could barely think his name without wanting to feel his jaw against my knuckles. I’d hated him so much that it made me physically sick, but now? He could die, and I was mad at him. The last time we spoke, we yelled at each other. I kicked him out of my house on Christmas Eve. He could die, and that would be my last memory of him.
I stopped at the closest nurses’ station and demanded directions to his room. The nurse looked up his information and then directed me down the hall. There, I found another nurses’ station, but no one was there. I scanned the hallway, desperate to find someone who could tell me what was going on.
Finally, a nurse appeared down the hall. I ran toward her, talking a mile a minute.
“Calm down, sir,” the nurse said. “Just tell me your brother’s name, okay? I’ll get you all the information I have.”
I gave Josh’s name and waited while the nurse typed something into her computer. She scanned the screen and then looked back at me with a patient smile.
“He’s still in surgery,” she said. “But it looks like he’s stable. If anything changes, I’ll let you know immediately.”
“Is there somewhere I can wait?” I asked.
The nurse pointed down the hall to a waiting room. I nodded my thanks and slowly walked forward. As I did, I pulled out my phone to dial Julie’s number. Now that I was at the hospital, I could slow down long enough to call her. I didn’t want her to think I’d stood her up for no reason.
“Michael?” a woman’s voice said behind me.
I didn’t recognize the voice, but when I turned around, my heart fell into my stomach, and my throat tightened painfully. I swallowed hard and blinked, sure that I was seeing things.
“Michael?” she asked again. “Is that you?”
I froze. I would have recognized those eyes anywhere. After all, they were the same eyes I saw staring back at me every time I looked in a mirror. They were the same eyes that Josh and I shared. Dark blue. Round. And full of emotion.
“Yeah,” I said slowly. “I’m Michael.”
“Oh my god.”
She took a step forward but stopped herself. I didn’t know what to say or what to think. I rushed to the hospital without thinking about the possibility that she might be there. Of course she was there. She was Josh’s mother. My biological mom. The woman who gave me up for adoption when I was just an hour old.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t really know what to say.”
“Let’s sit down,” she said. Her voice was weak.
She gestured toward a couple of chairs beside us. I followed her over and sat down, my hands shaking as I laid them on my knees.
“I’m Sheila,” she said with an uncertain smile. “I don’t know if you know who I am, but—”
“You’re my mother,” I said boldly.
Sheila blinked and swallowed. Pain crossed over her face, but she pushed it away and smiled instead. She nodded and just stared at me until I was ready to speak again.
“Josh told me a lot about you,” I said lamely.
“He’s told me a lot about you, too,” Sheila said. “It’s meant a lot to him that you two could finally meet.”
“Yeah,” I said. Talking about Josh made me think of Julie. I looked down at my phone, which was still clutched in my trembling hands. I tucked it away in my pocket. There was no way I could make a phone call now.
“Listen,” Sheila said. “I want you to know that I understand why you didn’t want to meet me.”
I nodded but didn’t say anything. I spent the past two years getting to know my brother. We talked. Slowly, we became brothers. Despite what happened with Julie, Josh was still my brother and I loved him, no matter what. Sheila was something different.
