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Josie just stood there, staring at me with her gorgeous blue eyes, an inscrutable look on her sweet face.
“As you can see, Josie,” I said, “you don't have to worry about a thing. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my child. Providing for them. You too, of course.”
“You don't have to—”
“Yes, Josie,” I do,” I said.
I took a seat on the sofa and patted the spot next to me, inviting her to join me. She hesitated, then slowly sat down beside me, rather than taking the chair as I thought she might. It encouraged me a bit and I thought it was a good start.
There was no way I'd let the mother of my child struggle when I had the means to take care of both of them. My dad did that shit with my mother, and I've never forgiven him for it. My mom did well enough for herself, and did everything she could to see that I never went without. But, her life was harder than it needed to be. And I never saw my dad. He didn't contribute anything to our family.
And there was no way in hell I was going to allow the same thing to happen to my child.
Josie smiled at me, a warm, sweet smile. A genuine smile. There was a reason I'd sent those tickets to Lila, and now sitting there, looking at Josie, I was so glad I did. I gave myself a little pat on the back for my ingenuity.
Seeing her sitting next to me, and knowing about the baby—it just sealed in my mind what I already knew in my heart.
Josie Pierce would be mine. There was no question about it.
Chapter Twelve
Josie
Gavin reached out and stroked my cheek with one of his big, strong hands. And despite doing my best to resist, I found myself leaning into his touch. I found comfort in his touch, a sense of belonging even. No man had ever made me feel the way he did. He made me feel safe. Protected. He made me feel wanted and even adored. When I was with Gavin, I felt appreciated.
Maybe it was because he was my first, and I was attaching all kinds of emotions to him that didn't actually exist anywhere but in my mind, but I didn't think so. I believed, deep down in my heart, that what I was feeling wa
s true and it was real.
Getting to know the father of my child was nice, but part of wanted more than that. I didn't just want him to care for us financially—I wanted us to be a family. I wanted everything that came with that. I knew was probably naïve to even consider that. Especially now that I knew his secret. Knowing that he was wealthy and lived a nomadic lifestyle, not to mention all the women he undoubtedly had flitting in and out of his life, I seriously doubted that he wanted to be bogged down with a girl like me.
Even if he did want to care for his child, like he said he did, I assumed it was merely I guess, I had to be okay with that. At least providing for his child was something. Stepping up and taking responsibility for his child like that was a hell of a lot better than a lot of men did these days.
Gavin lifted my face and stared into my eyes. “I've been looking for someone like you, Josie,” he said softly. “I've been looking for a very long time.”
“Someone like me?” I said, cocking my head to the side, genuinely not understanding what he was talking about. “What do you mean?”
“A sub,” he said, and seeing that I was still confused, he continued, “I come across many women leading the particular lifestyle I led. But most of them are only after one thing. Outside the bedroom they're not sweet, kind, and gentle. Not like you are.”
“You only want me because I’m submissive and do what you want me to do?”
I was slightly taken aback by the comment. The idea that I would be controlled, both inside and outside the bedroom, and that was the only reason he wanted me, was something I found a little galling. A little repellent. At the same time, though, the idea of giving myself over to him in the bedroom was such a turn on that I felt myself growing wet just thinking about it. Honestly, there was a part of me that would love to see where Gavin could take me sexually if I gave myself completely over to him.
“No, not at all,” he said, a cocky grin on his lips. “But I have to admit, I do find that part of you incredibly sexy.”
He ran a finger down my face, trailing it all the way down to my cleavage as he licked his lips. When he looked at me, I could see the flames of desire and passion burning in his eyes and I so badly wanted his mouth pressed to mine. Wanted to feel his hands on me. Wanted so much more, but I waited for him to act.
“What do you say, Josie?” he said, his voice low and husky, “Would you like to spend the next week with me, here in my suite, and see where things take us?”
I nodded before I even had a moment to think about it. I knew if I stopped to think, I'd have a million reasons to say no. But, my body was reacting before my brain could fully comprehend what I was getting myself into. An entire week with Gavin—the father of my child—in his suite, doing all kinds of crazy and delicious things?
My body screamed for it. But my mind whispered to me, asking me what happens if things go badly? What if we couldn't stand each other? What if he decided I wasn't worth his time or effort, and that I wasn't the woman he thought I was? Wasn't actually the woman he'd been looking for?
All those fears used to push me to run away from intimacy. They drove me to escape before I even had a chance to prove them right or wrong. This time, though, I had another reason not to run—and not just because of the fire burning in my belly. I had a child to think about too. A child who could really use having both of his or her parents in their life. At the very least, it was worth trying to see if we could make something work. For our child's sake. I owed our baby at least that much.
Deep down inside me, though, my reasons for wanting to try were less pure. My body yearned for him. Ached for him. Desired him in ways that scared me. And yet it filled me with happiness.
Gavin kissed me, pressing his hot, soft lips to mine. I kissed him back, my hands finding their way to his hair. Months had gone by, and I'd wanted to feel this again—to feel his hands on me, to touch him with my own. For so long, I'd yearned to stroke him, to even just see him. And now there we were, together again.
