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“Why wouldn’t the nanny thing work out?” She raised her eyebrows. “Are you planning to fire me again anytime soon?”
I laughed. “Maybe I just want to see you in the cheerleading outfit.”
“If you’re lucky,” she said playfully. “Really lucky.”
I laughed again, and she leaned down to kiss me. Her lips were soft against mine, and they felt like a cure for all my worries. I kissed her back deeply, not wanting to let her go. She felt amazing in my arms, sitting on my lap and running her fingers slowly through my hair. I’d been scared to tell her about my writing dreams, but now, I didn’t know why. She was amazing about everything else. Of course she would be amazing about this too.
“So, you really think I can do it?” I asked when we broke apart.
“Well, not if we keep doing this all the time,” she said seriously. “But in general, yes, I think you’ll be an amazing writer.”
Her confidence was more inspiring than anything else had ever been. I sighed and kissed her again, tightening my hold on her waist. She tried to pull away and stand up, but I protested, holding her there and kissing her faster. She laughed and pushed against my chest, breaking our kiss and quickly getting to her feet.
“Where are you going?” I whined.
“To check on the kids,” she said. “They’ve been outside alone for almost twenty minutes. If they aren’t fighting yet, they will be soon.”
“That’s true.” I sighed. “But I need you more than they do. You’re my cheerleader, after all.”
“Ha. Ha.” She laughed and walked toward the door, looking back at me over her shoulder. She smiled and said, “You’ll be great, Sean. All you have to do is try.”
With that, she stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind her. I listened to her footsteps as she walked down the hall and into the living room. They finally subsided when she opened the back door and disappeared. The door closed behind her, and suddenly, everything was silent in the house. Not a single noise could be heard. I knew the kids were playing outside, but I couldn’t hear a thing.
I sat still for a minute longer, just straining my ears for any sign of Tommy, Sarah, or Emily. When there was still nothing, I sighed and pulled my notebook back to me. The story I’d been dwelling on for days was one that I knew was important. Every time I thought about my kids or remembered their mother, I marveled at the strength of my two, tiny humans. At only six and four, they lost their mom. She was their world, their everything, and then suddenly, she was gone. I still didn’t know how they survived it.
As I thought of them, happily playing in the backyard, my idea came back with a flourish. It was like a dam had burst inside my brain, telling me exactly what I needed to write. I grabbed my pen and started writing everything that came to mind.
The outline wasn’t clear. It was messy, and most of my handwriting was illegible to anyone but me, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was getting these thoughts out of my head and onto the paper. I saw Sarah’s face in my mind while I wrote, then Tommy’s, then Telissa’s. I remembered her sick and dying, but still strong enough to play with our kids and be their mom. Despite what she did to me, she taught them how to have strength through hard times.
My hand was aching as I wrote faster and faster. By the time I was done, my outline covered over twenty pages and made absolutely no sense. Still, I was happy. The smile that stretched across my face felt odd and out of place. I hadn’t smiled so much in years. With Emily around now and my writing taking priority, I felt unstoppable. It was like my life had finally fallen into place, like I was doing something I was born to do.
As I finished up the outline and closed my notebook, I heard the kids playing in the living room. I didn’t realize they had come back inside, but the second I heard their voices, I stood up and hurried out of my study, eager to see them.
CHAPTER TWENTY - EMILY
Sunday morning arrived, and I laid in bed longer than normal. The sun was seeping through my curtains, and I could hear Tommy and Sarah playing downstairs. I glanced at the clock and saw it was almost nine o’clock. It wasn’t like the kids to not wake me up if they got up first, but I wasn’t complaining. Technically, Sundays were my day off, but I never took them as such. Instead, I hung around the house with Tommy, Sarah, and Sean.
As I pushed myself out of bed, I grabbed my robe and wrapped it around my body, not bothering to get fully dressed. I didn’t know why I was so exhausted, but I assumed it had something to do with Sean and the toll he’d taken on my body. Having sex with him was earth-shattering, but it always left me trembling and weak. It was no wonder I needed the extra sleep this morning. After yet another night together last night, my body was still recuperating.
I walked slowly downstairs, taking my time. When I stepped into the living room, Tommy and Sarah ran over to me.
“Good morning!” they said together.
“Hey,” I said, yawning wide. “Why didn’t you guys wake me up?”
“Daddy said not to,” Sarah said.
“I thought you could use the sleep,” Sean said from the kitchen. I looked over and smiled. He was grinning at me from the beside the kitchen sink.
“Thank you,” I said. “You didn’t have to do that.”
I walked over to him, and he handed me a cup of coffee, gesturing for me to sit down at the table. I did as he said and sat down. He brought over a plate of eggs and bacon and set it down in front of me.
“It’s not as good as yours,” he said. “I’m not a great cook. Just ask the kids.”
“We had cereal instead,” Tommy said from the living room couch.
I laughed and turned to Sean. “I’m sure it’s delicious.”
