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And she owed it to Talen to stick to that vow.
Even if it cracked her heart in two.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
JEREMIAH TRIED TO stay focused on his work but his attention kept straying to Miranda down the hall. He felt like a toad for shooting her down last night when she’d plainly bared her soul to him. Wasn’t he doing her a favor by being honest? His intuition reassured him, yes, it was better to be honest and up front about expectations than to experience heartache later from disillusionment, but it hurt like hell right now and he even felt a little queasy.
He managed to stick to his plan of staying out of her hair for about an hour until he finally rose and strode into her office with a legitimate question.
“Did you turn in your application and résumé?” he asked.
She didn’t look up from her task. “Yes.”
“Excellent.” He paused. “Did you see the letter of recommendation I emailed you early this morning?”
“Yes.” She looked up. “I didn’t send it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I didn’t want to worry about someone saying that you wrote it simply because you felt guilty about something. With the recent situation with Otter, I didn’t think it was prudent to send a letter where you sing my praises. If my application and résumé aren’t sufficient, then I’m not cut out for the job.”
“Miranda, that’s ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with a superior sending a letter of recommendation for an employee he feels deserves it. I wouldn’t have written it if I hadn’t believed in every word.”
“Be that as it may...in light of recent events...”
“You are the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met,” Jeremiah fairly growled, irritated at her refusal to see reason in this one area of her life. “My letter could be of significant value. Particularly in Stuart’s eyes.”
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t care,” he repeated. “Then why’d you send the résumé and application at all? I call bullshit. You care plenty. You’re just pissed at me, so you’re cutting your nose to spite your face.”
“Don’t be stupid,” she said, going back to her work. “Is that all? I have work to do.”
She was done talking. He could see it in the stiff set of her jaw and the tension in her shoulders. “Fine,” he bit out. “Be that way.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
“Glad we’re on the same page.”
Jeremiah glared but his anger bounced off her like water on a duck’s back. She’d effectively shut him out. He turned on his heel and returned to his office, steaming mad.
Of all the immature, reckless, stupid things to do... He fumed quietly, tapping his finger against his desk. She was perfect for that job. Her talents were going to waste in this old tin can of a satellite office. She definitely had what it took to do a good job in the other position. He hated the idea of Miranda wasting away, filing moose permits and languishing under sheaves of copy paper. He opened his email and quickly wrote a message to Stuart. If Miranda was going to be a pill, he’d just have to do what was right, whether she liked it or not.
Stuart,
I recently heard that Miranda Sinclair applied for the Special Services Enforcement Officer position. I’ve enclosed a letter of recommendation that I hope you will take into consideration for inclusion with her application and résumé.
Sincerely,
Jeremiah Burke, Director
She’d probably be furious when she found out, but he could deal with that. He was going to do what he felt was right and Miranda was right for that job.
Although he was relieved that Miranda had applied for the position, it didn’t relieve his tension about how things had ended the night before.
As much as he hated to admit it, Miranda had touched on a nerve. It was true he hadn’t dealt with his grief and he’d thought with time the pain would simply dissipate, and perhaps become like an old scar, visible but no longer agonizing. But he’d begun to lose hope that that would ever happen, because every time he thought of Tyler, it felt as if his heart were being wrenched out. But how did he know that he wouldn’t be able to handle being around someone else’s child? Truthfully, he’d never chanced it. He’d kept separating himself from children in general but he’d never thought about someone he cared about having a child. He loved Miranda. He knew that without a doubt. He wanted to see her succeed; he wanted to watch her soar. He wanted to sleep beside her every night. But she and her child were a package deal. Could he handle the pressure of reintroducing a child into his life? And was it possible for him to love that child as he’d loved his own? There were so many questions that he didn’t know the answers to and he didn’t have the luxury of testing out his theory because people could get hurt. He’d rather suffer misery without Miranda than subject her to any pain on his part.
