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‘If the roads are clear.’ It wasn’t a promise, but it felt like one all the same.
Luce nodded. ‘I’ll pack up the car.’
The roads weren’t clear, not by anyone’s definition. But the snow had stopped, and by lunchtime the tractors were out clearing some of the local thoroughfares. Once Ben had spent another hour digging his four-by-four out of the snow that had built up around it, and reversed onto the track, the journey looked manageable.
Still, it wasn’t until they got out of the Brecon Beacons National Park and onto larger roads that Ben finally felt his shoulders start to relax as he settled into the drive. He’d driven through worse weather, especially up in the hills in France, by the château, but that didn’t mean it was his preferred time to travel. Didn’t mean he wasn’t still annoyed with Luce for making him.
That’s why. That’s the only reason. Nothing to do with her leaving me.
Something he wasn’t going to think about until this drive was over.
As they entered Cardiff Luce gave quiet, monotone directions to her house and Ben could feel his time with her slipping away. Being wasted. But what was the point? Her family would always be more important than him. And he would never be able to give her enough to make her stay. Neither one of them was going to change now, if they hadn’t already. Why put himself through that?
Eventually he pulled up outside a row of townhouses, most of them converted into flats. Luce had the car door open almost before he’d switched the engine off, so he got out and went to open the boot for her.
‘Want me to carry this in for you?’ He hefted her suitcase out of the car and rested it on the pavement, his fingers still on the handle.
Luce shook her head. ‘I can manage.’
And wasn’t that her all over? ‘Fine,’ he said, relinquishing his hold.
She paused, biting down on her lip again, and Ben tried to ignore the heat that flooded through him at the sight.
‘Thank you,’ she said, finally. ‘For this week.’
‘I know it wasn’t what you planned. But I hope you found the time away...useful.’
‘I did, actually.’ She sounded surprised.
‘Good.’
What else was there left to say?
Awkward silence stretched between them until Luce motioned towards her front door and said, ‘I’d better go and get ready.’
‘The dinner party.’ Ben nodded, his neck feeling stiff. ‘Of course.’
‘I know it doesn’t seem like—’
‘It’s your life,’ he interrupted, too tired to have the argument again. ‘Do whatever you want, Luce.’
As he got back into the car he could have sworn he heard her say, ‘That’s the problem.’ But by the time he turned round she’d already gone inside.
He thought about going straight back to the cottage, but he knew the memory of her would linger there. He’d call his usual cleaning lady, get her to clear the place out so that all reminders would be gone by his next visit.
He could check into a hotel, he supposed, if any had a spare room on Christmas Eve. But suddenly he wanted to see his brother. He wanted to know what Seb had planned next for the business. Something about this time with Luce had left him unsettled, unsure. And he needed something to throw himself into.
Decision made, he climbed back into the car and headed east, watching the snow that had disrupted his life thin and finally disappear as he sped along the M4.
He drove straight to Seb’s office, figuring—correctly—that even late on Christmas Eve his brother would still be hard at work.
‘You look terrible,’ Seb said, as Ben sprawled in the visitor’s chair on the opposite side of their dad’s antique desk.
The usual unease and uncertainty rose up in Ben, just as it always had when Dad had been in residence behind the desk, but he clamped down on it, folded his ankle up on one knee and leant back, arms spread along the arms of the chair. Disrespectful and uncaring. Because Seb didn’t need good posture to know he had his respect, and his dad wasn’t there to care any more.
Neither is Luce.
‘Hell of a drive in,’ Ben said. ‘Hills are practically snowbound.’
Seb’s eyebrows pulled down into a frown. ‘This could have waited, you know. Until the weather cleared, at least.’
Ben shrugged. ‘Needed to get back anyway.’
With a knowing look, Seb settled back in his chair. ‘Ah. Time to let the latest girlfriend know she was only temporary, right? I’m just amazed you managed more than one night. Time to retire your rule at last?’
‘No,’ Ben said, shortly. ‘The rule stays. And it’s Christmas Eve. She had some family thing she had to get back for.’
