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Ben stared out of the window, trying to ignore the sense of wrongness that filled him when Seb talked about Luce as one of his girlfriends. Why did it feel so different? Hadn’t it followed the exact same pattern it always did? A bit of fun, discovering they were entirely different people, and then going their separate ways. Except this time they’d known just how different they were before they even went out to dinner. They’d wanted each other anyway.
Seb hadn’t said anything, Ben realised. When he drew his attention back to his brother he found Seb watching him, a contemplative look in his eye.
‘What?’ Ben asked, shifting to sit properly on the chair.
‘Nothing. Just...she was different? This girl?’
‘Luce,’ Ben said, automatically. ‘And I don’t know what you mean.’
‘You said she was an old friend,’ Seb clarified, and a sense of relief came over Ben.
‘Yeah. We knew each other in university. So what?’
‘Nothing,’ Seb said again.
Ben didn’t believe him. Time to change the subject. ‘So—come on. I’ve driven through snowstorms and London traffic to get here. What did you want to meet with me about?’
Seb blinked, tapping a pen against his desk as if trying to remember. Finally he said, ‘I’ve got a new job for you. If you’re interested.’
‘A “your mission, should you choose to accept it” type thing?’ He hoped so. Preferably something far away, completely absorbing and with no reminders of Luce. That sounded pretty much perfect.
‘Sort of.’ Seb sighed. ‘Look. I’m trying to find the right way to say this.’
‘Sounds ominous.’
‘I don’t want you thinking you’re not good at your job.’
‘I am excellent at my job,’ Ben said. ‘And since when do you worry about my ego?’
‘Since when do you take women to your cottage?’ Seb countered.
‘Just say it. Whatever it is.’
‘Okay. So... Although you are passably good at your job—’
‘Excellent at, I think I said.’
‘You don’t love it.’
Ben looked at his brother in surprise. ‘It’s a job, Seb. I don’t have to love it. I just have to do it.’
‘Maybe not. But I think you could love it.’
Things started to fall into place for Ben. ‘I know what this is. You’re worried that I’m still angry Dad left control of the business to you. I told you—I don’t want it. Too much responsibility for me. I like the travel. I like the money. I like making things happen. I don’t want to be stuck behind that desk for the rest of my life.’
‘Like you think I will be?’ Seb looked at him. ‘You think I’m going to turn into Dad.’
‘Not if you choose not to.’ Ben shrugged. ‘Besides, it’s different. You haven’t got a wife and kids like Dad did.’
‘Maybe I’d like to have those things, though. One day.’
‘Really?’ Ben shook his head. ‘Nah—can’t see it. You’ll sit there and manage the business, I’ll go out and about and make things happen, and neither of us will drag any kids from boarding school to hotel for their entire childhood. It’s all good.’
‘And that would be enough for you?’
‘Yeah. Of course it would. What are you thinking? That I need a private jet to make my life complete?’
‘Honestly? I think you need a home. I think you need someone to come home to. I know everything with Mum screwed up that ideal for you, and maybe it was easier for me, being away at boarding school already. But it wasn’t your problem to fix. You can’t fix problems, only situations. And, Ben, it’s time to move on. Time to grow up at last.’
But Seb hadn’t seen it. Hadn’t seen their mother falling apart day by day. He’d already been away, engrossed in school and friends and sport. He’d already moved on before Mum had.
Ben had been the only one there to try to make things right for her. And he hadn’t been able to.
‘I think you’re crazy.’ Pushing against the arms of the chair, Ben stood up. ‘And if that’s all you wanted to talk to me about—’
‘I haven’t finished.’ When Ben remained standing, Seb sighed. ‘Just sit down, Ben. I promise to stay on topic. Business only. Your shambles of a private life is your own.’
‘Yeah, like yours is any better,’ Ben grumbled. But he sat.
‘I’m working on it,’ Seb said with a lopsided smile.
‘Really? Am I missing something here? Did something happen while I was away?’
