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“Sorry I’m late, guys,” Alex huffed as I let down my window. “What’s going on?”
“Baby,” I said shortly, already annoyed at his presence.
“We’re going to the hospital,” Sadie told him, and I could see the impatience painted over her face in the soft light of the house through the windshield.
“Cool, I’ll ride with you guys then and get some shots for the show,” Alex grinned, pulling his camera out of its protective case.
Sadie didn’t say anything but I could see that she wanted to say no. It must have felt terribly intrusive to have a stranger at something so intimate and personal, though I supposed that’s who I was to her as well. I thought of her breast cupped in my hand and her soft moans in my ear and shook my head. Maybe not.
“Hurry up, we’re already late,” I told Alex, letting out an annoyed breath as I moved over to let him in. There was no way I was letting him get between us.
Alex filmed as we bounced along, and I wondered if his camera caught the new, static tension between the two of us. Sadie’s pale hand twitched on her thigh and I wanted to hold it, squeeze the fingers, and let her know it was going to be all right. She had barely spoken to me since we were interrupted though, and I wondered if she was going to pretend nothing had happened. Thank god Alex hadn’t been close by. I was certain his camera would’ve caught me slipping into her bedroom. I was almost sure that he still wanted Sadie by the feigned casual way he kept looking over my shoulder at her in the soft glitter of the highway lights. Though I was also nearly positive that she didn’t want him back, it still burned me to imagine the two of them the way Sadie had been with me, pressed into the sheets of her childhood bed.
I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and trying to ignore the way Alex had suddenly dropped his camera, sitting it in his lap. He stared between the two of us, eyes narrowed. “Did something…happen?”
“No,” Sadie and I both said very quickly, and she shifted in her seat. I wondered if she was thinking of me.
Once we were in the parking lot of the little Christmas light-strung hospital, we nearly ran across to the sliding double doors, passing Oliver’s car on the way in. Alex was filming everything, and the receptionist stared at him oddly in her limp Santa hat as she told us that Rose hadn’t had the baby and it would be hours yet. Oliver was in the room with Rose and Ben was in the waiting area. Sadie let out a breath and Alex followed as we made our way upstairs to the little sitting area across from the cafeteria. I flopped down in one of the uncomfortable chairs across from the TV and Alex went around the room, getting shots of the frail old man snoring softly in his chair and the vending machines that were covered in garland, beeping their product sales to the nearly-empty waiting area. Sadie paced back and forth, still wearing my shirt, and she twisted the hem in her fingers nervously. I watched her and Alex finally came back, sitting in the chair beside me, his eyes on the bright Christmas movie on the TV.
“What time is it?” Sadie asked me, tapping her foot where she stood in front of me. The low lights of the waiting room illuminated her damp, curling auburn hair like a halo around her head.
“It’s 10:55 p.m.,” Alex answered instead, looking over at her with a lazy, tired expression on his sharp face.
I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to reach out and grab Sadie’s shaking hands.
“I’m going to go grab some coffee, there’s a 24-hour cafe,” Sadie said finally, without looking at either of us. I could tell that she was overwhelmed, whether by her sister-in-law’s early labor or because of me, I wasn't entirely sure.
“Wait, I’ll go too then,” I said, standing from my seat to follow her. I thought some time alone might do us some good. We needed to talk anyway.
“No, it’s okay,” she shook her head in a dismissive manner, turning to leave. “Maybe my dad will be out soon to let us know something. Rose grew up with her grandma and her cousins in New York, so my dad has always been there for her since she and Oliver got together.”
Sadie walked out quickly, and I saw her retreating figure disappear down the hallway. I sat back down heavily, sighing as I did so. It seemed as if Sadie was definitely going to pretend we had never been together at all. Would we just be like we were before? Or would every moment between us remain charged with some sort of awkward tension? The thought of it was more disappointing than I imagined it would be. If she wanted to pretend that we were nothing, I could do that too. No matter how disappointed I was, I could—
