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Alex started to laugh, cackling really, and his voice was loud enough that the man sleeping in the waiting room chair twitched. Alex held his belly as he chuckled deeply, swiping tears from beneath his eyes.
“Is there something funny, Alex?” I snapped at him, squeezing my fingers against the armrest without glancing over at him. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of a real response.
“Just…” Alex laughed, wheezing as he tried to talk. “You two are ridiculous.”
“Look, man,” I started, my impatience growing. “I don’t know what you think—”
“What I think,” Alex mocked me, raising an eyebrow as I looked over to take in whatever stupidity he was about to spew. “What I think is that you two got it bad.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked him in annoyance. I wished that Sadie would come back into the room and save me from this conversation. If Alex thought he was going to move in on her once I was out of the picture and this whole thing was over—
“You’re in love with Sadie, man,” Alex told me quietly. His voice was oddly serious. “I don’t know how you don’t see it.”
“See what?” I wondered, thinking over what he had said. Was it true? Did I love Sadie? I realized that his words rang true in my mind and my head ached. I had known that there was something between us and it had come to fruition in the steaming warmth of the shower, though I hesitated to put a name to it. I didn’t want to disappoint myself.
“She’s in love with you too, man,” Alex shrugged, looking a little put-out and shifting in his chair like he was uncomfortable. “Sucks for me because I don't have a damn chance with her now, but I can see it as plain as day. I’m sure everyone else can see it too.”
“So you do want her then,” I said, letting out a breath and trying to push down my anger. He said a lot, but his attraction to Sadie is what burned in my head, bright and annoying.
“Of course I do,” Alex snorted, putting his hands up to further make his point. “Have you seen her? Prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.”
At that, I laughed a little too, surprising myself at how we suddenly sounded like old friends. “Yeah, I get it. I really do.”
I couldn’t blame him at all for trying. Sadie was the rare kind of woman that you changed your life for. She made you want to change to fit inside the space of her heart and at her side. She was the type of person that would do anything for the people she loved, and she made you want to do the same. I loved Sadie. I knew that I did. She was everything. I almost laughed again at the ridiculousness of it all. I went into this with no plans to stick around and now I wondered how much longer I could drag it out. So no, I couldn't blame Alex for wanting to be someone who Sadie could call her own—for wanting to belong to her. I wanted to be that for her too.
“You should go home now, Alex,” I told him, feeling just the slightest bit more charitable toward him at that moment and letting my jealousy wash away with the soft, cold rain that had begun to fall outside. I looked at the clock on the wall that read 1:30 a.m. “It’s Christmas now, I think. You can just meet us at the train station on the way back. Your family will be missing you. They live an hour away right? I won’t tell the studio if you don’t.”
Alex grinned at me, grabbing his camera from beside him. “Thanks, Connor. You’re alright, man.” He stood from his chair, looking over his shoulder as he left. “And uh, you should really tell Sadie how you feel. Let her know what she means to you. It might change your life.”
She already has, I thought ruefully, waving at him distractedly as he left the room. If only it were that easy. A Miracle on 34th Street droned on over the waiting room TV and I must have drifted off in the uncomfortable chair. I dreamed of Sadie. She was above and around me. She was like a burst of sunlight, warm and ethereal as we made love in a halo of soft, golden light. Her radiant happiness covered me like a blanket, and I was more at peace than I had ever been in my life, it seemed—
Sadie’s soft voice calling out to me woke me from my impromptu slumber.
“Connor, Connor wake up…”
“I’m awake,” I slurred at her with sleep-addled lips, jumping in my chair.
“I brought the coffee,” Sadie told me softly, sitting the cup caddy down on the table between the waiting chairs. She then looked around the room, her dark brows creasing in confusion. “Where did Alex go? I brought him one too.”
