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“What do you mean? You said what I was offering wasn’t enough.”
“Can’t a woman change her mind?”
Though “a woman” could, he doubted Willow often did. He didn’t have an extra seat in his office, so he gestured for her to sit in his. She shook her head and continued to pace. He leaned against the desk.
“What are you saying?”
She grinned at him, though it was different from her other smiles that he only then realized he’d been cataloging over the past two weeks. There was no laughter in her eyes.
“I’m saying that I’ve thought more about your proposal, and maybe I’d like to amend my answer.”
He shook his head. A response to an offer of marriage should have sounded musical or something. Not flat. Not like accepting a bid for a bathroom remodel.
“You were right,” she continued. “We can form a family together. I’ve grown attached to Harper, and I know you feel the same about Luna. This way we can be with both girls, and they can each grow up with two parents and a sister.”
Why did it sound so bleak when Willow said it? And a bigger question: Why had it seemed like a good idea to him in the first place? Because they had great chemistry in bed, a couple of kids to raise and could hold a civil conversation?
Sure, it was more than a lot of marriages had. Only it wasn’t enough. Especially not for her.
Earlier, Willow had said she could never marry without love. Was he ready to use that word to describe the unfamiliar and disconcerting feelings he was developing for her? Probably not. But could he sentence her to life without it if it was something she needed?
“Maybe we should think about this,” he blurted.
“I have, and your idea is so practical. It’s easier this way. No feelings involved. We both know what we’re getting into. We’re walking in with our eyes wide-open.”
That was the problem. His eyes were clear, and the picture before him suddenly looked bleak. She would never be truly happy in a marriage of convenience, and he couldn’t bear the idea of giving her that life.
Willow folded her hands together at her waist. “So, all this is to say, yes, I’ll marry you.”
She glanced up at him with a look so hopeful that he hated to dash it. But he would. For her sake.
“Well, that’s the thing. I need to rescind my offer.”
“You what!” She jerked her hands wide. “You can’t rescind a marriage proposal.”
“Why can’t I? You rejected two of my proposals and then come in here saying you changed your mind? Well, maybe I did, too.” He stopped, tucked his thumbs through his belt loops and tried again. “Look. I’m sorry. I just realized that it’s not right for, well, us.”
“You just decided this? I don’t even get a vote?” She stalked away from him and then looked back. “And I can’t believe you let me go on and on when you were planning to withdraw the offer.”
“I’m doing this for you.”
The words rushed out before he could stop them. Her glare told him that he’d said the wrong thing.
“Don’t tell yourself that this was for me. It has been about you all along. You were hurt once, and now you’re wrapping yourself in a suit of armor to avoid being injured again. I hope at some point you figure out what you want.”
“I’m a parent. I don’t have the luxury of making all my decisions based on my wants or needs.”
“And I do?”
“I never said that.” He gripped the edge of his desk behind him. “I don’t understand. Are we having this argument over a marriage of convenience? Over my taking back an offer I never should have made about something you said you never wanted?”
At that, she blew out an exasperated breath.
“If you think that’s all this is about, then you don’t know a damn thing about women.”
She stalked from his office. Soon the thud of the outside door reverberated through the barn.
He lowered himself into his desk chair again, more spent even than he’d been when she’d arrived. He’d found her anger over his withdrawing the proposal perplexing, but his own feelings then confused him more. Nora’s abandonment after Harper’s birth had been painful, but this was different. Until that moment, as Willow walked out of the building and out of his life, he’d never felt so completely alone.
