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Dread filled his gut. He wasn’t ready to sign on for a lifetime of...no passion. Wasn’t ready to leave behind all of the possibilities he’d been exposed to over the past weeks.
For the first time in his life he’d started to dream—while he was awake.
“I’m not pregnant, Mark.”
He was dreaming. Awake. “What?”
“I want to marry you. There’s no one here who’s ever going to be as good as you, but I’m not pregnant. I made my decision to be honest with you and so that’s what I’m doing.”
She wanted to marry him.
She was trusting him enough to be honest with him.
She wasn’t pregnant.
He could only deal with one thing at a time.
“You lied to me?”
“No! At least not about the being pregnant part.”
“You lost the baby?” She wouldn’t have ended the pregnancy of her own accord. Another given.
And the thought of his child dying, even in fetal form, elicited a sadness he couldn’t have predicted.
He hadn’t been there....
“No.”
He frowned. The seesaw of conflicting emotions was getting the better of him in spite of himself.
“You said you didn’t lie about the pregnant part. What exactly did you lie about?”
“The doctor part. I didn’t go to a doctor. I did a home pregnancy test. It came back positive.”
“So you are pregnant.”
“No. I went to the doctor today. I took him the test results, and he did his own test. It was a false positive.”
“You aren’t pregnant.” If he wasn’t careful, he was going to fly right off the edge of the mountain and float down to the city below.
To the lights and school and his new friends.
To a patio where he hoped one new friend in particular would be waiting for him.
White wine. His grandmother had told him to buy a bottle. Good advice.
“Did you hear what I just said?” Ella’s words registered, as did her hurt tone.
He’d heard her voice going on.
He was a jerk.
“I want to come out there for a vacation, Mark. I already put in for the time, thinking that I would be going on leave. I was taking vacation time first because I’d get full pay. I can take the bus out just like I said, but Mom wouldn’t need to come with me. You can show me your new town. Maybe I’ll like it better than I think. I mean, you’ve lived in Bierly your whole life, too, and you like it there.”
“It’s not a good idea, Ella.”
She’d given him honesty. He owed it back to her.
