AllFreeNovel
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“Fuck yes I’m jealous of him! That’s my daughter, but for all she knows right now, he could be her dad if you told her to call him that!” Ian stands and starts pacing around the bed. “He immediately stepped in to stop her tantrum today. He knows what her favorite fucking ice cream is and that chocolate apparently doesn’t go well with her stomach. I don’t know any of that shit, and I for damn sure don’t need him there, throwing it in my face that I don’t know it. The only reason she even calls
me Daddy is because you told her to!”
My heart sinks. Oh, god. We’re back to me lying to him. I reach for his arm when he gets close, but he yanks it away. Damn, that stings. “Will you let me make you feel better?” I ask quietly.
He hesitates for too long. He stands there in indecision for too long. I’m not sure how long it actually is, but it’s enough that it hurts that he won’t somewhat immediately let me make him feel better. So, I get up and leave him standing there.
“I wanna color, Mommy.”
“You know what? So do I.”
I grab a pair of coloring books from my purse and dig around until I find the box of crayons. We sit at the dining room table and color. The problem with coloring with Savannah is that sometimes, she wants to tell you which colors you should use. Today is one of those times.
“If you keep telling me how to color, you’re never going to finish yours, buttercup.”
“I will,” she argues. “Use purple.”
She wins today. I’m over arguing.
“Daddy wanna color?”
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask him.”
She wiggles out of her chair and runs down the hall, shouting about how he needs to color with us. A minute or so later, she comes back with Ian and a big grin. “He say no, but I say please and he say yes.” She looks up at him. “Share with Mommy.”
Great. I can’t even color in peace between the little dictator and now having to share with Ian. She runs the conversation and orders us around. I’ve never been worried about putting her to bed before, but I am tonight. What am I supposed to do if Ian and I haven’t settled this by then? I don’t want to go to bed with things as awkward as they are and with him mad.
“Let’s get you ready for bed and tucked in,” I reluctantly say.
“Daddy tucks me in!”
“Well, let’s go,” he says, standing and holding out his hand for hers.
I decide to keep coloring to prolong the inevitable. Maybe I’ll stay up all night. My phone rings and I pick it up.
“Sydney? Any chance that you can come in tonight?” my boss asks. “I hate to ask knowing that you only have one week left, but Tina called in sick and well, you’re my most dependable employee, so I called you first.”
“I’ll be there soon.”
“Thank you so much!”
Prayers answered. I go to the bedroom and start changing into my uniform. Can’t argue with Ian if I’m not here.
“What are you doing?”
I glance over my shoulder at Ian as I pull my shirt into place. “Got called into work to cover for someone.”
“Why didn’t you say no?”
“So I can stay here with you? No, thanks.” I push past him, but don’t make it very far before he grabs my wrist.
“That’s not fair.”
“I don’t care. I could’ve made you feel better and you didn’t want me to. Forgive me if I don’t want to spend time with you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to work.” I pull out of his hold and leave him behind for the second time today.
Unfortunately, work just makes me feel bad and tired. I totally get where Ian is coming from. When I look at it from his point of view, it couldn’t have been fun for Logan to answer his questions instead of Savannah. And Logan shouldn’t step in when Ian can. Logan is so used to doing that, something will probably have to be said to make sure he doesn’t in the future.
What bugs me is how Ian handled it. I’m almost certain I could’ve eased all of what was bothering him if he would just let me, but no. He wanted to be pissed instead. Fuck that. When the solution is so easily available, why do you want to fight it? He should know that I, more than anyone, want to make sure that he catches up on what he missed and that Savannah grows up never realizing she was missing him…until she notices he’s missing from the photos.
