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I can’t help but have a follow-up question. “When did you wake up?”
“Around 11:30.”
Goodness, he’s been up all night. “Are you hungry? I can fix us breakfast,” I finish, even though he started shaking his head after my question. I’m not quite ready to eat yet, so I don’t bother getting up. Maybe he’ll be hungry later. Maybe he could fall asleep if he relaxed some more. Doubtful, considering he probably took a sleeping pill last night, but it’s worth a shot. I snuggle closer to him, close my eyes, and say, “Close your eyes and breathe with me.”
“I’ve tried everything,” he says.
“Well, try again.”
Trace sighs, but matches my breathing. His hand keeps squeezing my hip in a slow, steady pulse-like manner. I grab his hand and hold it to my chest to make him stop before throwing my arm around his waist. He’s too tense. How can I make him relax? Before I can think of something, he speaks.
“I’m not even tired. Let’s just get up.” Without waiting even a moment, he pulls away from me and gets out of bed. “I’m going to take a shower,” he says over his shoulder.
I stare at his back until the bathroom door closing blocks my view. What the hell? He has to be tired. His nap couldn’t have lasted long enough to sustain him to be awake all night and for today. I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. I should probably get up to take my pill, especially since I missed last night’s dosage.
The sound of the shower turning on can finally be heard. I hate that he didn’t get any sleep last night, and I hate that he doesn’t seem to be in a great mood this morning. When was the last time I got one of his breathtaking genuine smiles? Off the top of my head, I can’t remember. Trace is such a good person and he’s so good for me. How can I not want him to always feel great and be happy?
He deserves it. It’s hard for me to see him like this, to know he’s having a difficult time, and to not be able to truly do anything about it. There are only small ways I can try to help. Hopefully, that will be good enough.
As I hear the shower turn off, I get out of bed to take my medication. That’s when I realize something. If it’s hard to see him like this, what will it feel like if things get worse for him? I don’t want to think about it. Both for selfish reasons and for Trace.
I grab my tote so once he’s done, I can take my own shower. Trace is taking his sweet time, though. Five minutes later, he finally walks out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He sees me with my bag and says, “You can go ahead.”
Off to the shower I go. I’m not sure what, if anything, had been planned for us to do today. Trace might not feel like doing anything at all, which is fine. My mind wanders to what I’ll cook us for breakfast. He recently went to the grocery store, so the kitchen should be stocked. Maybe I’ll fix French toast. I can’t remember the last time I had that, and it suddenly sounds really, really good.
When I finish in the bathroom and open the door, I’m assaulted by the aroma of bacon. Trace is cooking? That has to be a good sign. Otherwise, why bother, especially when I was planning to cook for us. He’s standing in front of the stove in jeans and a T-shirt, scrambling eggs. The toaster pops with fresh toast, and the bacon has already been placed on a plate. A timer goes off, and he pulls out a pan of biscuits from the oven.
“Smells good,” I tell him as I grab a pair of plates, set them by the stove, and then begin fixing us something to drink.
“Better be hungry after I’ve slaved at this stove all morning,” he jokes with an easy smile.
I return his smile, happy that he seems happy. “No one asked you to go all out on a five-star meal.”
“But what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t make breakfast for my girlfriend?”
“An okay one.”
Trace laughs as he places food on our plates. I grab our drinks and take a seat at the table. A moment later, a plate is set in front of me and Trace takes his seat. I thank him and we’re quiet the first few seconds of eating.
“So,” Trace begins. “Vegas, huh?”
“Yeah, Bec picked that to bribe me and make sure I agreed to go somewhere for spring break. She’s using you to further bribe me. You don’t have to go, though. I already told her I would go either way. Looks like I’ll have spring break plans after all.”
“Who all is going?”
“Just me and her. Her boyfriend agreed to go to Florida with his friends before they started dating.”
Trace nods. “Do you want me to go?”
I shrug and say, “I wouldn’t mind it if you went, but you don’t have to go unless you want to. Rebecca and I will be fine and have fun either way.” I don’t want to make him feel as if I’ll be disappointed if he says no. Sure, I probably will be a little bit, but it’s no big deal if he doesn’t want to go. Plus, he did just take me to Bryson City for the weekend. “However, we’ll probably need to know soon, so she can book the hotel and plane tickets.”
“Okay. I’ll let you know for sure Monday then.”
I nod. “What’s on the agenda for today?”
“I was thinking we could go see a movie or something to get out of the house. Want to do that?”
“Yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the movies.”
