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Before I can shut myself up, I whisper, “For a long time, I’ve wondered what it would be like to do that.”
He flashes me a soft grin. “Me too. Go on and get some sleep. I’ll see you soon.”
No words come to mind, so I nod, get out, and walk to my dorm room in a daze. Am I dreaming already? Did he really kiss me? I swipe my tongue over my lower lip. Yes, yes, he did.
“Just where have you been, missy?” Rebecca asks, lowering her book as I enter the room.
I flop onto my bed. “I went out with my former therapist.”
“What?” she shrieks, sitting upright. “I thought he lived hours away? How the hell did you go on a date with your therapist? Isn’t that like illegal, or unethical? You need to give me all the details right now.”
Sighing, I roll onto my side to face her. “Ever since I moved to college, we’ve sort of been talking. It was only an email here and there at first, him checking in on me, or me freaking out about something and needing sound advice. Then, I got tired of emailing and gave him my number. We started texting here and there, but a lot more often in combination with phone calls this past year. He got a job opportunity here and he took it.
“He was going to tell me yesterday, but someone,” I glare at her, “dragged me to a club, so I couldn’t talk to him. I found out when I unknowingly walked into his new office today. We had lunch and then he invited me to dinner, which ended up being at his house. Then he kissed me before I got out of the car. You’re all caught up.” Two thoughts hit me and I add, “Oh, and he’s my former therapist, and he won’t get in trouble because he told the college of our ‘relationship’ during his interview.” I even do the air quotes around relationship.
Rebecca’s eyes nearly bug out of her head. “Relationship? Wow. And he told them this before you even knew he was coming?” I nod. “Girl, he has it bad for you. At the very least, based on what you’ve said, you’re close friends. However, he cares for you a lot if he told the college about you, knowing they could’ve not hired him because of it.”
I hadn’t thought about it like that, and I say as much.
“Do you think your relationship,” she does air quotes, “will become a relationship?” she finishes as she wags her eyebrows.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I yawn and stand to change my clothes, hoping Rebecca takes the hint that I’m tired of talking. It’s been a long, stressful day, even if it ended well.
The moment my head hits the pillow it’s like a switch has been flipped and I’m wide awake. The last thing I want right now is to have a restless night. For a while, I keep my eyes closed, hoping that’ll help. It’s useless, though. I can’t sleep. I wonder if Trace is awake too. Should I text him? Part of me says yes because it’ll help me pass the time, but part of me says no because he might be sleeping.
Screw it.
I grab my phone and decide to call him.
“Hello?” he answers on the second ring.
“Did I wake you?” I whisper, so I don’t wake Rebecca.
“No. Everything okay?”
“I can’t sleep. Don’t you want to talk to me until I get sleepy?”
His laugh is low and husky. “You want me to bore you to sleep?”
“Well, that’s one way to put it. Just talk to me, please.”
“Yeah, Britt, I can do that,” he says softly. “Anything you want to know in particular?”
The darkness and the wee hours give me confidence. “What happened with your ex-wife?”
Trace is quiet for a moment. “She cheated.” I gasp, but he keeps talking. “She says it was because our relationship moved too fast and she realized she didn’t want what she had agreed to, which was a life with me. The cheating was just the final straw. It took a while, but I got over it.”
“And you’re okay now?”
“I’m more than okay,” he replies with surety. My body warms with his words. “I want to talk to you about your issues for a second and then we can talk about whatever you want.”
Well, crap. “Okay,” I whisper.
“You should still see a counselor.” My mouth opens to object, but he says, “Hear me out, Brittany. You aren’t my client anymore. I’m here for you, of course, but I’d feel better if you were seeing someone. You came into my office today, needing to talk to a counselor. I think it’ll be good for you to see someone. There may be things you don’t want to tell me as,” he falters, struggling with what he wants to say. “As who I am to you now. Think about it, okay? It’ll make me feel better for you and for us.”
He makes a good point. I do need to see someone, even if I’m reluctant. It would be unfair to unload completely on Trace and to expect him to not see me as part-client, to have him not treat me as if he’s my therapist.
“Okay,” I agree.
