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Don’t think. Just act.
I can do that.
Brittany lies next to me with her head on my chest and an arm thrown over my stomach. We haven’t spoken a word in quite some time. I continue running my fingers up and down her bare back and glance at her alarm clock.
“I need to go.” My voice seems too loud as it breaks the silence.
Her body tenses and I swear she stops breathing.
“Lily needs to be let out,” I explain.
“Oh. Yeah, she probably does.” She starts to pull away from me.
“You could come over. I could stop and get us something to eat on the way.” I get out of bed and start dressing while she thinks it over. Please say yes. Overall, things have been going well tonight and I don’t want to leave her alone with her thoughts.
“What are you thinking of getting for dinner?” she finally says once I’m dressed.
“What do you want?”
“Hmm, I could go for a chicken sandwich and some fries.”
I nod. “Get dressed and I’ll meet you at the house.” I lean over to kiss her softly.
“I’m not spending the night,” she tells me, holding the sheets tighter around her chest.
“Wasn’t expecting you to.”
The corners of her mouth drop, but I don’t know why she’d frown. She nods. With one last kiss to her forehead, I leave. By the time she dresses and I stop by a fast food restaurant that serves chicken sandwiches, we arrive at my house within a few minutes of each other. I’m standing on the front porch while Lily attends to her business, but as soon as Brittany pulls into the driveway, Lily runs toward her car.
Not going to lie; it stings a little that Brittany’s biggest smile tonight is because of Lily’s excitement to see her. She didn’t even smile like that after sex. I shake my head, not needing to worry about it. Brittany and Lily make their way inside. We get settled on the couch, where we eat our dinner. It’s kind of odd, but reassuring, that she doesn’t seem to have an issue eating.
We’re watching some crime drama once we finish eating. For a moment, I wonder if Brittany is going to go ahead and leave, but she doesn’t. She stands, holds out her hand to me, and then pulls me over to the recliner without uttering a word. A surprising rush of relief hits me to be lying in my recliner with her again.
“I’ve missed this,” she whispers a few minutes later.
“Me too, Britt.” I rub her back, just like old times.
A minute passes and she adds, “I’ll head home after the episode ends.”
“Okay.” Do I want her to stay? Of course, but I’m not going to ask. She needs to make that decision. I need to figure out when to fight for her and when to leave her to her own battles.
However, by the time the episode ends forty-five minutes later, Brittany is sound asleep in my arms. I try to do the right thing by attempting to wake her, but she’s dead to the world. I push the footrest down, adjust her in my arms, and carry her to my room. Lily immediately settles at her feet while I change, take my pills, and get ready for bed myself.
God, I’ve missed sharing a bed with her. I pull her against me and quickly fall asleep.
I don’t know when she has to report to work, but six in the morning seems like a good time to wake her up and make sure she has plenty of time. “Britt. Wake up.” I shake her shoulder. She grumbles and I smile. “You need to head home and get ready for work. Plus, take your pills since you missed them last night.”
She looks at me sleepily, but shrugs. “It’s no big deal.” Brittany stretches and I start to feel uneasy. “It doesn’t make a damn difference if I miss here or there,” she mumbles as she gets out of bed.
“Are you saying you skip doses?”
“It happens. Where’s my phone?” She starts toward the living room, not once looking back or waiting for me to answer.
I quickly follow her. “Brittany, are you intentionally skipping doses?”
“Of course not,” she retorts. She looks tense, though, and she’s snatching her phone and keys from the end table.
“Don’t lie to me. This is a big deal if you are.”
