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Brittany: Yes. It’s only stressed me out and pissed me off.
Me: Talk to me.
Brittany: My rent is going up at the end of the month. I can handle it, but it could make money tight everywhere else.
Me: Do you need to live in that area?
The area she’s in puts her closer to the city. It’s also doing a lot of growing and expanding. She could probably find rent cheaper somewhere else.
Brittany: No, but I don’t know if I can deal with the stress of moving either. It would be the 3rd time in about a year if you count leaving the dorms.
Me: Do you want short term stress from moving or long term stress from your rent?
Brittany: Stop being so logical. It’s an ugly trait.
Me: Haha. Just trying to help.
Brittany: I know. Thanks. How was your day?
This is something I’ve sorely missed. Simple, everyday conversation. Not a day went by that I didn’t wonder how her day was. It seems like such a small thing, but it’s one of the things I missed the most. We text for a while. I promise to help her find a new place. She’s stressed because she’s on a deadline; we have until the end of the month to move her out. This is bad timing to have more stress added to her plate. Then again, maybe it’ll be a good distraction.
“How’s it going, Trace?” Mrs. Kirk asks as we take our seats in her office.
“Pretty good.”
She smiles. “You gave her another chance, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.” I tell her everything that’s happened.
“Do you think y’all will work this time?”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, I think it’s good that she’s starting the process of getting back on track. You’re willing to stick with her through it, and that’ll help. I don’t want to dampen your optimism, but when your first big struggle comes, how the two of you handle it could speak volumes to whether y’all will last. However, it doesn’t set anything in stone. My point is that you both need to be aware of your reactions and if it’s helping or hurting. Communication is more important than usual for you two. I also think you need to make sure y’all have time for yourself as well.”
I nod in agreement.
“How have you been doing?”
“Fine for the most part. I’ve had some anxiety and my mood has sucked some, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“It’s good to hear that you’re confident you can handle it. I know we talked about potentially having you come see me every two weeks instead of once a week. However, I want to maintain our sessions. I think it’ll be good for you while you and Brittany are working out your kinks. I want to monitor you throughout it as well. Once you two are on solid ground, then we could extend the length between appointments. What do you think?”
“That sounds okay with me.” It’ll be good to have her to talk to if things do get rocky. I’ve gotten used to seeing her so often, too. Now, I understand Brittany’s anxiety when I suggested that she would be fine without sessions with me. However, I’m looking forward to when I can take that step and move to seeing her every two weeks.
Before I head home, I text Brittany about her day. It feels so damn good to be able to do that.
My life has been one long ride of ups and downs, but I’ve been going down for so long that it’s about damn time I start going up again. Hopefully. My appointment with Mrs. Potter is tomorrow and I’m a nervous wreck. Sitting at home, trying to find
a new place to live, isn’t enough of a distraction. Usually, I would either seek sex, alcohol, or go to sleep. I promised I wouldn’t fall into old habits, though. I grab my phone and text Trace.
Me: Can I come over? Please?
The one time I need him to immediately respond, he doesn’t! Five tortuous minutes pass before he texts me back.
Trace: Come on over.
Those three words are as sweet as I love you right now. Things have been moving smoothly with Trace so far. He’ll text me to ask about my day and we talk about nothing in particular for a few hours. I’m supposed to trust him again and fight. Is texting and running to Trace allowing me to do that?
