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I expect her to rest her head on my shoulder again, but her gaze doesn’t move away from mine. The world slips away the longer we stare. My eyes drop to her lips when her tongue peeks out to swipe across her lower lip. Our breathing shallows at the same time.
“Mind if I kiss you?” I’m not sure why exactly I’m asking or why I feel like I should, but I do all the same.
Idaline smiles. “Please do.”
Our mouths join quite simply. Just a closing of the distance in order to make contact. One chaste kiss before our mouths open and our tongues war, chase, and caress one another. Idaline’s soft moan goes straight to my dick. She grabs ahold of my neck as if she needs to keep me right where I am. Like I would go anywhere. She tastes better than I remember, feels better as my hands glide up and down her body, and smells just as sweet.
Five minutes into this kissing, Idaline moves swiftly until she straddles my lap. Such a bad idea that I love so much. My hips immediately jerk up to rub against her. God, she moans again as she presses down against my hips, like we’re two teenagers who aren’t allowed to go any further than this right here.
My body aches when Idaline suddenly pulls away.
“Are you okay?” I ask, hoping I haven’t somehow fucked up.
She nods. “Is it too soon for us to have sex?” Her nervousness sneaks out in her question.
My answer is obviously no. “That’s for you to decide, love. If you’re ready, I’m ready. If you’re not, there’s no harm done in waiting. There is zero pressure from me; you know that, right?”
“Yes,” she answers resolutely. “I would just like that connection with you.” Her fingers walk their way down my chest, slip underneath my T-shirt, and her hands flatten as they slide back up. “Sometimes, our last night together feels like nothing more than a dream. And I’m left wondering if we were really together or not. Did I really remember how you felt or was I imagining things?” Her head tilts to the side as her hips rock against me. Her breath hitches while her nails dig into my skin. Finally, her eyes lift to mine. “You don’t understand how much I’ve missed you. How much I’ve always wanted to be with you.”
She has no idea. I run my hands up her back until I reach her shoulders and then pull her into a tight hug. “I understand perfectly, Idaline. You’ve always been the light in my dark world, always unreachable, unattainable, but now you’re here and I don’t plan on ever letting you go. On ever letting you down or to allow the dark to take over my world again.” Lila can show up all she wants, but nothing will stand in the way of my happiness and all the potential happiness I’ll have with Idaline ever again
.
Idaline looks at me with water in her eyes. “I love you,” she whispers.
My chest swells, air stays locked in my lungs for a solid moment, and I smile. This is the first time she’s ever said those words. I’ve felt love from her, but to hear her say it and to know she doesn’t mean it in a strict friendship sense? It’s the highest of highs. Especially since I never expected her to say it to me first. With a good solid hold on her, moving my hands to her legs, I stand.
Silently, I walk to my bedroom with her in my arms. Idaline has the slightest of frowns on her face, but I’ll erase that in just a moment. She releases me the second I set her on the edge of the bed and loses all contact with me.
“Idaline?”
“Yeah?”
I lift her chin to make her look at me. There’s unnecessary worry in her eyes. “I love you too.”
The moment the words are out of my mouth, she pulls me in for a kiss and frantically goes about undressing me. That moment was fourteen years in the making. The only thing I can promise, with words and actions, is that it won’t take another fourteen years to solidify the fact that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together.
Waking up with a naked Idaline wrapped around my body. Is there anything better than that? Not really. I softly kiss her forehead and carefully extract myself so I can shower before Sawyer wakes up. While last night was one of the most amazing in my life, I can’t help but think about how it’s a new day and that means new problems.
Did Lila head back home or is she still lurking around?
My gut tells me she’s still lurking around.
Which means I need as many eyes as possible on Sawyer today. I don’t know how crazy she may get and I don’t want to risk anything happening to him. Although, again, my gut tells me she has no concern for Sawyer. She isn’t here for him. She’s here for me.
Idaline is still asleep by the time I’m completely ready for work. I leave her be while I walk across the hall to Sawyer’s room. I smile when I see him pulling himself up.
“Mornin’, son. Any idea on what DaDa should do with you today?” I ask as I pick him up. He babbles eagerly as we work on the diaper change and get him dressed. “Do I take you with me to work? There’s more people there. Most importantly, I’m there. Or do I leave you here with Grandma, Nana, and Idaline since if Lila comes around, she’ll probably wait until I’m here?”
Sawyer answers, but I’m not sure which way he wants to go. When I stand him up to kiss his forehead and to pick him up, he smiles his little toothy grin and shouts, “Ahda!” He bounces up and down with excitement. I glance over my shoulder to see Idaline.
“Well, someone really likes you,” I laugh, placing Sawyer on the floor and watching with pure happiness as he runs over to Idaline.
“Why, though?” she asks with confusion. Idaline bends down to be eye-level with him and he hugs her.
“He knows when he’s met a good person.” Idaline doesn’t seem to accept this answer. “Plus, he likes fresh meat.” That makes her laugh. “Come on; let’s have breakfast.”
The three of us eating breakfast together? It’s heaven. The missing piece of my life is here and she fits in seamlessly. But I remember my mother asking about whether or not Idaline would want to be in a relationship when I have a son. Whether she’ll eventually be ready to take on that role as his mother, because that’s exactly where this will lead. Should I find out if she’s prepared to do that before we go any further?
