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If she says no, would that really separate us? Because I still wouldn’t want her to go anywhere. Sawyer will work his magic on her as long as she’s here. She’ll fall in love with him and change her mind. I just can’t see a possibility of Idaline being totally opposed to life with Sawyer and me.
“What are you thinking about over there?” Idaline asks.
“Something my mom said.”
Idaline nods at first, but then she says, “Do you want to talk about it?”
I hesitate for a fraction of a second before tossing caution to the wind. This is Idaline. We can talk about anything. “She was worried about if you’d still be up for a relationship with me since Sawyer is involved.” Idaline’s eyes widen. “I know I caught you off guard with that and you weren’t expecting him, but you’re ready to be here with both of us, right?”
She’s quiet as she glances over at Sawyer who happily eats his breakfast. Her eyes meet mine with a fierce determination. “I’ll do anything to be with you. Sawyer is something I wasn’t prepared for, but it’s not like I’ll haul ass back home because of him. He’ll be worth staying for just as much as you are.”
God, I love her. Just when I think she can’t get any better, after all these years of knowing her, she proves me wrong.
Our breakfast ends nicely. I decide to keep Sawyer at home where there’s a locked door between him and whoever may be on the other side. My mom and nana are made to come over, even though only one of them is needed. This is partly because Idaline made appointments to look at some apartments. I’m a tad disappointed to hear this, as I would’ve liked to go with her, but I can’t take off at the last minute. Well, Brent may actually let me because he’s that nice, but I don’t want to find out.
Whenever I have a free moment at work, I’m texting someone at home to check in on Sawyer. Everything has been quiet. No visits from Lila, which quite frankly just puts me on edge. Lila won’t disappear quietly into the night like a good person. And I’m proven right when I’m leaving work and she’s sitting on the hood of my car.
A ton of emotions hits me like a brick. Fury, dread, fear, and anxiety are at the top of the list.
“Stalking me now?” I ask when I’m within ten feet of her. I focus on her bruise, hoping it’s enough of a distraction because just the sight of her puts tequila on the forefront on my mind and has my mouth salivating for the taste.
“We need to talk.”
“No, we don’t. Having a restraining order kind of prevents that,” I remind her. I pull my phone out to call the cops because I’m not messing around. I don’t have to talk to her and I don’t want to. Lila jumps off my car, rushes over, and snatches my phone from me. “Lila,” I sigh. “Give my phone back.”
“I want you back, FC. We were so good together. I even gave Sawyer to you!”
“You’re fucking crazy if you think I’d ever get back together with you. Or that we were good together for that matter. Hand over my phone.” I hold my hand out, but it’s useless. One thing I won’t do is try to wrestle it away from her. She’s not about to say I put my hands on her in any way.
“I know we needed time apart and that you needed to see I would do anything to be with you, even if it meant giving Sawyer to you, and I did that. I gave up my rights, so you would see I was a good mother and that you would see I’m a good person. My life sucks, FC, and it was better when you were in it.”
I laugh, making her frown. “You were a good mother? A good person?” A hysterical laugh bubbles out of me again. “A good mother saw her son when she still had rights. A good person doesn’t do this!” I whirl around and lift my shirt so she can see the scars she left. Before I can pull my shirt down, she’s touching my back with a gentleness that doesn’t match her personality. Swiveling on my heels, I grab her wrist with my phone, peel her fingers off of it, and release her. “Don’t you ever fucking touch me again.”
As I walk around her to my car, in the calmest of voices, she says, “This isn’t over, FC.”
It damn sure isn’t because unless Lila decides to leave me alone, she’ll continue to be a nightmare in my life. Feeling her touch makes me want to go home and shower with a bottle of tequila. Her exploring my scars for all of a second is completely different than when Idaline did so last night. Idaline was concerned and worried. No doubt remembering how I kept my back turned away from her the last time we were naked together, when my back was still healing from what Lila did to me.
She wanted to know exactly what happened and I reluctantly gave her the details of that night while she placed soft kisses all across my back. It felt like it took forever for the tension to leave me. I despise those scars and I’m not looking forward to the day Sawyer asks what happened to me. I may have my son and be glad Lila isn’t involved, but that doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to one day telling him the truth of why she isn’t in his life. If he asks, I’ll tell him. I don’t plan to lie.
I just hope he waits a long time before asking me about her.
When I get home, my three favorite women, plus my dad, are in the kitchen laughing. So much for not overwhelming Idaline too soon. Although, part of that is my fault. I check over her body language first as I walk closer to make sure she’s comfortable. Appears so. She smiles when she spots me and I kiss her cheek.
Sawyer bangs on his highchair table, calling out my name. I walk over to kiss the top of his head and say hello to him.
“How was your day?” Dad asks.
“Fine until Lila showed up.” Happiness leaves each of their faces. I recount what happened as I pick Sawyer up, needing to hold him close and reassure myself he’s happy and safe, even though I know he’s not what Lila wants. She barely mentioned him.
My family tosses out all sorts of ideas on how I need to handle the situation with Lila. My eyes keep straying to Idaline, though, who focuses on her meal and stays quiet. Once conversation dies down, thankfully, I’m able to speak to her.
“How was your day, love?”
Her gaze lifts with surprise. As if she wasn’t expecting the conversation to turn to her. “I found a place to rent. Looks like I should go home to pack soon.”
“Where is the place?” I ask.
“A few miles down the road. Now, I just need to hear about a job.”
