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“No, I don't really talk to them on a regular basis, so I was going to wait until they called.”
“Oh, do you have a good relationship with them?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I answer without looking up. That's the truth. I mean, they are parents. We don't sit around and talk about all our life problems. If I need them, they are usually there. They don't hover, aren't stern, and we don't argue, but it's kind of hard to argue when you barely talk. They raised me and shipped me off to college. That's pretty much it. Actually, it's a bit more complicated than that, but my current relationship with my parents is more my fault than theirs.
Once something is broken and more and more time passes, it's hard to remember how to piece it back together. It's difficult to see what things were like before, so much so that you feel like you aren't missing out on anything. Or even worse, that things are better now. That's my relationship with my parents. That's my life in general. I was destroyed four years ago, utterly obliterated, and life has been fine. Just fine. A word that should be erased because it holds nothing but an empty truth. Audra and this baby present a light at the end of this dark tunnel I've been on for so long. I have no choice but to go towards it.
A few minutes pass in silence. “How old are you, anyway?”
“Twenty-three.”
That makes me raise my head. “You're older than me?”
She giggles. “Yeah, is that a problem?”
“No, I just didn't realize that you were older. So, is this your last year?”
Audra nods. “I got a little behind, but yeah.”
“What's your major?”
“Marketing. Yours?”
“Computer Science.” I watch for the surprised reaction I know is coming. Her eyes widen, her eyebrows raise, and her mouth parts. Instead of waiting for a response, I add, “No more talking. I need to get more work done.”
We work in silence for the most of the remaining time I'm there. Audra gets up a few times to find something to munch on.
“I getting a few days without you around?” Audra teases with a smile as I start packing my things up.
“Yep. Don't be too excited. I'll probably call to check in, make sure you're doing all right.” My stomach is already in knots about having to leave. I can't help it. Bad things happen when I'm not around.
“You're a worrier, aren't you? Never would have guessed.”
“Yeah, me either. You don't mind if I call while I'm gone?” I don't want to aggravate her when we seem to be doing so well.
“No, I don't mind, but you'll probably get the same answers each time.” She smiles.
“That's okay.”
Audra walks me to the door. “Oh, I can't remember the exact date now, but I do have an appointment coming up. It's only a checkup. I'll text you the date and if it doesn't work for you, let me know and I'll change it.”
“Thanks. See you later, Audra.”
“Bye, Neil.” I'm halfway down the hallway when her voice calls, “Hey, Neil?” I turn to face her. “You should really go ahead and tell your parents. It's their grandchild, after all.”
I nod, but don't make any promises.
THE LOCKER ROOM is subdued with a loss hanging over our heads. I sit on the bench with my head in my hands, replaying some of my mistakes, so I can make sure it doesn't happen again.
“Hey, Grant, head up, man,” Neil says, taking a seat next to me. He's already changed and showered. “It's not like we haven't lost before.”
“Yeah, but it's not like I've ever played that badly either.” Five. We lost five to zero. I've had a rough night, obviously, and I hate nights like these. It could easily be my worst game.
“We didn't help much, Grant. Shake it off, remember what a badass goalie you are, and maybe we can get a shutout or two this weekend.” He grins, ready for the challenge. He's right. We were all terrible tonight.
“Thanks, Neil.”
He slaps my shoulder, stands, and leaves. I pull off my shirt and upper pads as some of the other guys start to trickle out. Winston stepped out a few minutes ago, but has popped his head back in.
