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“Don't say it!” God, her saying it out loud just makes it worse.
“Whether I say it or not, the fact is still the same,” she says evenly. Audra must be getting warm because she takes off her hoodie, leaving her in a white t-shirt.
Bo stares at her stomach. No, this can't be right.
“How far along are you?” I ask. There has to be a mistake. I'm not the father, surely.
“Five months.”
Shit. No, no, no. I can't be a dad. That's absurd. I don't need this. I can't have this happening. This is too much to handle, and I find myself blowing up at her with panic and unwanted memories surging forward. “How do you even know it's mine? I don't know you, and if you've slept with me, then you could be a fucking whore for all I know!”
“Neil,” Bo warns. That's why he's here because I'm freaking the fuck out.
Suddenly, Audra starts crying, burying her face in her hands. Shit. If there are two people I can't stand to see cry, it's old women and pregnant women. I look to Bo with a pained expression. He needs to help me. Bo shakes his head, and then nods towards Audra. He wants me to comfort her? Damn it!
I sit down on the couch next to her and pat her back. I feel like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory when he says, “There, there.” After a deep breath, I do my best to make her stop crying.
“Look, I'm sorry, Audra. Even though what I said is reasonable, I probably shouldn't have said it like that.”
Bo glares at me, but Audra makes a mangled laugh sound. See? She appreciated my attempt.
“Sorry, I've been a bit of an emotional mess.” Audra wipes away her tears. “If you want a paternity test, that's no problem. It is completely reasonable because I know how it might look, but it's yours. I wasn't sleeping with anyone, um, like six months before and then after,” she pauses with a glance at me, “I was ashamed when I slept with you, so I took a break from sex. Then I found out I was pregnant.”
“Ashamed? What? I'm a fucking great lay!”
Bo cuts his eyes over at me. Right. Not what we should be discussing. “Why did you wait so long to come tell Neil?” Bo asks.
Audra glances at me and thanks to her watery eyes, mine are drawn to them as I notice that they are dark brown. “Because it took me this long to get the courage to come find him.”
For a moment, a sliver of a second, I feel for this girl. It has to be scary as fuck to be where she is, and I don't even know her. But I don't have to know her to know what she's feeling unfortunately.
“Have you thought about what you're going to do? Like are you keeping it or putting it up for adoption?” Her eyes widen and her mouth parts. However, I think it's more because I've asked than the question itself.
“I've thought about adoption, but I haven't made any decisions.” Her hands move to her belly protectively.
“I think you should put the baby up for adoption,” I spout quickly.
“Neil!” Bo says exasperated.
“What? You seriously want me to want that for myself? To put myself through that? No way in hell!”
He opens his mouth, but Audra distracts him with her nonchalant, “Okay.” She grabs her hoodie and stands, stepping in front of me to head to the door.
“Okay?” What does she mean by that?
Audra turns around to face me. “That's why I came here, Neil.”
“For me to tell you what to do?”
“No, the only reason I'm here is because I thought you deserved the chance to make a choice. You've made it.” With that, she turns and walks out the door.
That's it? It was that easy? When I look at Bo, he's pissed. What for? Problem solved. I'm out of the equation. He gets up and bolts out the door. Where the fuck is he going? I take a deep breath of relief at the bullet I dodged. That could have ruined my life in so many ways, but now, it's all over and done with. I don't have to worry about it anymore.
“What the fuck was that?” Bo asks angrily as he walks back into the room. “Neil, that could very well be your kid she's carrying and the best you could do was freak out and tell her to put it up for adoption? You have a responsibility!”
His words stir me to stand up and begin to pace again. “She said she was considering it anyway, Bo. I don't need that responsibility. I have enough as it is.”
“Then you should have kept your dick in your pants!” he explodes.
