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I ignore that. “What did you do when you went outside?” I ask.
“I apologized for your dumb ass.” His voice turns eerily calm as he continues. “You can't do this, Neil. You know better from the first time.”
“Don't even go there, Bo! I will beat the shit out of you without a second thought.” He will not bring that up. Not now and especially not when that girl doesn't mean anything to me. There is no comparison.
“Then do it,” he challenges. “You know, I'm glad you knocked her up because I'm sick of you fucking everything with tits, which has only put you back in the very situation you were-”
“Stop!” I yell. My pulse can be felt everywhere, throbbing in my fingertips, my neck, and my forehead. My hands are clenched in fists by my side. Bo is walking in dangerous territory, and he damn well knows it. “I'm warning you. Open your mouth one more time, and I'll rip you to pieces.”
He stares at me, waiting for me to break, and it makes me want to punch him that much more. I've never wanted to hit him as badly as I do right now. He's my best friend, but at this very second, I don't give a flying fuck. I turn and walk out the front door, slamming it hard enough that the windows rattle. Then I get in my car, and I leave.
Fuck him.
I drive around aimlessly, eyeing the gas needle before finally deciding to stop and fill up. I can't believe Bo would bring that up. It's not something we talk about and the only time we acknowledge it is on Sundays.
“Fuck,” I mutter, kicking my tire halfheartedly. This isn't what I want to think about. Not at all. Thinking about it means bringing back memories I don't want to have and an awful pain reminding me that it was all real. Regardless of what Bo says, I like my life the way it is. If I want to sleep with three different girls in one weekend, then that's my decision. If I want to party and have fun, then so be it. If I want to put myself first and foremost to keep history from repeating itself, then who is he to tell me I can't?
History has already started to repeat itself though. I've made the choice. I'm not going to change my mind either. I do not need nor want a kid or a baby momma. Sighing, I eventually go back to the house to grab my things for practice. We've got a game tonight, and I need to focus on that and nothing else. Being the captain of the Salem University hockey team requires me to be at my best because when I'm off my game, it travels to my teammates.
But being on the ice doesn't bring me comfort today. Not in the least. I'm making snide comments to everyone, almost hoping to piss them off too. I'm being selfish and a terrible leader, but all I can think about is the way Audra looked when she said she had to gather the courage to come find me. Winston was smiling earlier in the locker room, and it's pissed me off. If I'm not happy, then neither will he.
“WINSTON!” NEIL YELLS. “Get your head out of your ass and focus!”
That's the third time he's yelled at me in less than ten minutes. Coach keeps making us run the same drill over and over and apparently, Neil thinks I'm the reason why. Regardless that it's not all me, I nod and grunt as we resume our pre-game practice, knowing I don't need to say anything back to him. Something has put him a sour mood, and I'm his target. Neil seems to be one of those happy go-lucky guys, so if he's pissy, there's usually a good reason for it. Letting him harp on me to get it out of his system is fine.
Once again, he crawls down my throat for no good reason. My jaw tenses as I debate saying something. Neil's face is protruded in anger with him standing right in front of me. It almost seems like he wants me to start something with him. He's that angry. There's no way in hell that I'm about to hit him or make things escalate.
“Calm the fuck down, Neil. I don't know who pissed you off, but you need to chill.”
His shoulders relax slightly, and Coach Nixon skates over to us.
“We're done, boys. Go relax before the game,” he orders, looking at Neil.
He glances at him. “Yes, sir,” he says before skating off the ice.
“Do you know what's bothering him?” Coach asks.
“No, but you know Neil. It won't be long before he fixes whatever it is,” I answer. That's the truth too. Neil doesn't let anything keep him down for long. We have about an hour before we have to be back to the rink, and I'm starving. Back in the locker room, I question, “Anybody up for some food?”
Bo, Vincent, and Grant opt in while Neil shakes his head. Bo says something quietly to him, but he shrugs him off. I just hope he snaps out of it before the game. If he isn't focused on playing his best and has his mind elsewhere, it's going to affect the rest of us. Not that it's happened often, but when it does, we all falter. That's like our Achilles heel.
Once we change, we get into Grant's truck, and he drives us to a restaurant where we can get something light and healthy to eat. As soon as we take a seat with our food, Grant nudges my elbow with his.
“I saw that Maddie spent the night.”
“Oh? The short chick from last night? I saw her walking across campus this morning,” Vincent adds.
I eye him for a moment as I take a swallow of water. “Does that mean your waitress girl didn't leave with you last night?” No way he would have been out and about this morning if she stayed over.
Vincent narrows his eyes at me. “Her name is Mary and no, she didn't. I don't know what the hell her problem is.”
“It's probably you,” Bo laughs.
Vincent throws his napkin at him. “And when was the last time you got laid?”
Before he can answer, Grant says, “I thought she was dating that guy.” He raises an eyebrow, waiti
ng for me to say something.
