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'Lucy’s silence speaks loudly, and it’s rarely a good thing.'
I give her a little bit more time to see if she'll say anything. We manage to make it into the library and to my favorite table without her muttering a word. I grab the leg of her chair and pull her closer to me.
“Hey,” I whisper. “What's the matter, Lucy?”
She slides those bright blue eyes over at me, peeking underneath long, black lashes because she has her head angled down a little. “I realized how right Jon is. We won't always be together. They could go off, get married, and move God knows where, and we'll only get together once a year if we're lucky. I don't...” she pauses, takes a deep breath, and continues, “I don't know what I'm going to do without my brothers around all the time. Corey's already absent a lot from being in grad school and he's only an hour away.”
“You don't know that they'll move far away, but even if they do, it'll be okay. Just think about it like this. They'll be starting their careers and families, and you will be too. Even if they aren't nearby, you're their little sister and trust me, they aren't going to disappear on you.” My words don't seem to soothe her as much as I want.
“Yeah, I guess you're right, Grant. I went into worry-mode for a second there. Thanks for bringing me out of it.” She leans over to kiss me softly.
I used to think there was something delicate about Lucy, but I know now that there isn't. What can be mistaken for delicacy is more like reserved strength. She's not fragile. She's super strong. Her brothers must have taught her that. I only say that because Patrick seems the same way sometimes. Lucy's love for her family has no ends, and it's charming how happy she is when they are around. They may be overprotective at times, but she doesn't need them to be. She's independent with a quiet strength and presence. There's something about that combination that's overwhelmingly breathtaking.
She tilts her head, still close to me, as she runs a hand over my head from the front to back until her fingers are resting on the back of my neck. She loves to do that because she can feel how soft my hair is. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks quietly.
“Like what?”
“Either like you had a revelation or like you were so lost in your thoughts and you've just realized where you are.”
“Remember how you told me that I overwhelm you?” She nods, unsure of where this is going. “I realized you do the same thing to me.”
The corners of her mouth quirk up. “It's something else, isn't it? It's like suffering from pure bliss, only it's the best way to suffer.”
I HAVEN'T HEARD from Dave since he found out. It's odd not talking to him, but I don't have a lot of time to think about it between hockey, Maddie, and studying for finals. The only reason why I'm thinking about it today is because this is the weekend he was supposed to come up to see me play and hang out.
“Winston! Get your head out of your ass and focus!” Neil
yells familiar words.
Oops. I missed a pass. I run after it and Coach starts putting us through some drills. Part of me wishes Maddie would be here tonight, but she's going out with some of her friends, so I didn't ask. She doesn't really care for the sport anyway. She never has and I wouldn't expect her to become suddenly interested in it.
We have about fifteen minutes until we hit the ice for the game when my parents call me. They've been away on a second-honeymoon type trip to celebrate their anniversary.
“Hey, I don't have much time,” I answer.
“That's okay, sweetie. We wanted to let you know that we're back home. Have you been doing well? We've missed you,” Mom says.
“Yeah, things have been fine. Enjoy your trip?”
“Oh, yes. It was wonderful.”
“Good. Let me call you after the game, okay?” I tell her, not really wanting to talk to her at the moment. She's going to make me feel like spilling my guts, and I don't want to do that yet.
We hang up in the knick of time. Once I get on the ice, I feel a little lighter. This is where, no matter what's happening, life makes sense. At least, in this moment, it does. I know what I'm supposed to do in this moment. I'm a defenseman. My job is to do my best to keep the other team from getting the chance to score. We're off our game though. The hits are hard, in their favor, as are the shots. The only reason we're still in this 2-0 game by the third period is because of Grant. The score could be so much worse. We don't do much in the third to get the puck into the net nor protect our own and we lose 4-0.
I hate games like these. I really hate the feeling afterwards when we know we could have done better, but we didn't follow through. When I exit the locker room, Maddie is there with Lucy, who is waiting on Grant, I'm sure. My frown already marking my face deepens when I see Maddie. She looks smaller. How is that even possible? Surely, she hasn't lost weight. That can't be healthy for her height and overall size.
She grins when she sees me. “Smile, Winston. You get to be with me tonight,” she says once I'm next to her as she wraps her arms around my waist.
“That's the only good thing about today, that's for sure.”
“We'll see you later, Lucy,” Maddie tells her before dragging me down the hallway.
“Did you come to the game?” I ask once we're in my car.
“No, I just got here. Lucy told me y'all lost. Sorry.”
“It happens.” I debate mentioning her weight. Maybe it's her clothes that make her seem smaller. My mouth stays closed until we reach the house and are in my room. As soon as the door is closed, Maddie has her hands all over me, and we're undressing.
