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AFTER CLEANING UP both our places, I feel like I could use another nap. However, I still have laundry to do. Audra should be here any minute, and she's going to want me to talk, which is fine. I really want to relax for a bit, so hopefully, she does too. Just as I'm about to sit down on the couch, there's a knock at the door. Surely, Audra wouldn't knock. This is her place now too, even though she hasn't moved in yet.
“Mom? What are you doing here?”
She's standing at my door, hugging her coat tighter, trying to stay warm. I don't want her here. Not now, especially since Audra just pulled up. Mom glances over her shoulder, but faces me again.
“Can I come in, Neil?”
“Oh, uh, yeah.” I move aside for her to enter. “Let me go make sure she doesn't need any help. Make yourself at home.” Leaving her inside, I hurry to Audra.
“Who's that?”
“My mom.”
“Oh, should I go?”
I shake my head. I'll be damned if I'm about to make her leave. “I don't know what she wants, but you're not going anywhere but inside.”
“Okay,” she nods, her hand going to her stomach. “I brought dinner. It's in the passenger seat.”
“I'll get it then.”
She waits for me to grab the bag of food before taking my hand and walking with me inside as snow starts to fall. That simple act, of waiting so she can walk in with me, does wonders. I don't know why, but it does. My mother is waiting right where I left her. Guess she didn't feel comfortable making herself at home. Audra squeezes my hand as Mom gives her a tight lipped smile.
“Mom, this is Audra. Babe, this is my mom.”
“Nice to meet you,” Mom says, but even I can tell she doesn't mean it. Her words are too clipped, too formal.
“You too,” Audra replies, turning towards me. “Want me to go put the food in the kitchen?”
“Yeah.” I hand her the bag and she walks off. It's not until she walks around the corner that I realize she's never really been past the living room, so she doesn't know where the kitchen is. “What do you want, Mom?” I ask, guiding her into the living room. “I'm not r
eally in the mood.”
She wrings her hand and suddenly, I realize she's nervous. I've never seen my mom appear anxious before. Not like this anyway. “I don't know why I came other than on the phone this morning, you sounded like the son I remember. I want to understand, Neil, and I want to be around to meet my granddaughter.”
“Does Dad know you're here?” My parents are pretty hard to separate. I mean, they are usually a joined force that doesn't deviate from each other on their view of something.
“Yes. He had to leave for a trip, so he couldn't come.”
“There's enough food if you'd like to eat with us.” We both turn at the sound of Audra's voice. “Well, Neil has extra to share,” she jokes with a smile.
God, I love her. I face my mom. This could either be a turning point towards progress, or she can take a step backwards by declining her offer.
“That sounds nice,” she answers.
“Hard to turn down a pregnant girl, isn't it?” Audra chuckles.
I laugh as we head towards the kitchen. “You need to let that go, babe. Sometimes, people say yes because they mean yes. Not because they don't want to tell you no.”
“Well, I choose to believe otherwise, so leave me alone.” Audra already has three plates on the table. “Oh! I forgot the drinks.”
“I'll get them.”
They sit as I fix everyone something to drink. It's not until after our plates have food on them and we begin to eat that Mom starts talking. She glances at Audra, who is keeping her eyes on her plate for the most part.
“I, uh...I've been thinking about what you said all day. You shouldn't have to apologize, Neil. We should. We weren't there for you like we should've been, but the Lanier's were and they still are. I'm thankful for that. I think that you continuing to go after her death, in part because of Alice, shows the kind of man you are. So, I am sorry we weren't there for you and I'm sorry that it's taken this long for you to hear that. Your father feels the same, and we would love to have dinner with your family,” she finishes, looking at Audra.
There is a part of me that doesn't believe her, but then there's a larger part that simply wants to move on. All I can manage to say in return are two words. “Thanks, Mom.”
