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“Not tonight,” she answers.
“Well, here,” I say, releasing her to place the box in her lap. “Open it.”
Lucy wastes no time, but her hands still as she sees everything in the box. Staring at the contents, she mumbles, “Something means one thing, Grant.”
“I couldn't decide and every time I saw something that I wanted you to have, I couldn't resist.”
I watch this quiet, independent force of a person that is Lucy, run her fingers over what's in the box. There's a few t-shirts, a necklace, a keychain, and even one of those old film cameras that are sold for tourists, filled with pictures I took for her that she can develop. Some shells and sand from the beaches are in a bag, and Lucy seems mesmerized and appreciative of it all, particularly the camera.
“There's one left,” she says, noticing that one more picture can be taken on it. Lucy looks over at me. “Take one with me.”
I turn on the overhead light as Lucy presses herself into my side and holds the camera out. We smile and she presses the button, releasing a soft click. She places it back into the box and sets it in the empty seat next to her.
“Thank you, Grant.” She closes the space between us to kiss me.
“Anything for you,” I murmur against her lips.
Lucy pulls back at my words, almost looking confused. “Have you always been this way? You've seriously done that since you met me, even with the very first favor. Why?”
I think about what she's asking. Even though I've known my lack of saying no, I never thought about why. My mind flashes back to when I met her, and I try to explain how I saw it. “At first, you seemed nervous and I didn't want to be mean. Plus, I was curious about you. When I found out who you were, who your brothers were, I wondered what it was like to have them for siblings. The more I saw you, the less the thought of saying no passed my mind. You were you...” I repeat what she once told me.
“I couldn't have been any other way. You gave me bits and pieces, left me with questions, and were a person I wanted to be around. I wanted to do your favors, to see life like you do, to see the way you thought and behaved, to see your relationship with those around you. I wanted you in any and every way you would let me have you. So yeah, I was more than happy agreeing to do whatever you asked of me.”
Lucy's blue eyes search mine, almost frantically, and I wonder what she's thinking. The words that leave her mouth next are so carefully spoken I could almost believe they've never been strung together in the same sentence before. They've never meant anything to anyone else, never existed before this moment because that's how special those words are to be leaving Lucy's mouth, directed at me. “I love you,” she says softly, but clearly.
She's left me speechless. The only thing I can do is kiss her. To press my mouth to hers, glide my tongue between her lips and try to make my kiss speak what my voice seems to have forgotten how to do.
“And even now, you overwhelm me,” she whispers when I pull away, resting my forehead against hers.
“You do?” I ask, ignoring her statement. “You love me?” My mind is trying to figure out what I ever did to create such an emotion in her. I'm overwhelmed, just like she is, but for different reasons. Or maybe they are the same.
Her lashes fall and rise before she smiles. “Yes. Don't you love me?” Lucy's cheeks are softly colored with a blush.
“Yes, I do.” I kiss her quickly. “I love you so much.” I press my lips to hers again, wanting to taste every inch of her.
Lucy rests a hand on my thigh and gently uses the other to push me away. Her eyes are bright with a playfulness and a desire stronger than I'm used to seeing from her. “Maybe we should go eat and then go back to your place.” She sees the questions in my eyes and laughs softly. “Don't ask questions now, Grant. Unless you want to say no?” Lucy raises her eyebrows at me.
“Of course not,” I answer, making her laugh again. “I'm pretty sure that word isn't even in my vocabulary.”
We go back to the front seats and continue with our plans, knowing what is to come later.
“HOW DO YOU not know what you want, Neil?” Audra asks for the umpteenth time.
“I don't know,” I sigh. “I mean, I've worked towards this for a long time, yeah, but things change. There's Liana and we're together now, so there's you too. I don't know if I would want to get signed, if that opportunity came.” We're running in circles with this conversation. Audra obviously has an opinion, but she's holding back for a change. “Be honest with me, babe. What would you want me to do?” I've told her about the traveling, the moving to whatever city that hosts the team, and it feels like bad karma to discuss something that might not even happen.
Audra glides her hand in a circle over her belly, looking down at it before lifting her head to meet my gaze. “I think our daughter would want her daddy to go after his dreams. When she grows up, do we tell her that she stole your chance? That you felt like you couldn't? You can, Neil. Players are doing it right now. They have families. What's stopping you from doing the same thing?”
I reach for her hand and pull her over so she can sit sideways in my lap. We stayed in for dinner since everyone else would be going out. “First of all, she wouldn't have stolen it. I know I could.”
“Then what's stopping you?” she repeats.
She gazes at me, and I take a deep breath. I hate voicing my fears, but when it's Audra, it's not as bad. “I could miss so much with Liana while she's growing up. It's bad timing for her first year. And what if something were to happen while I was at a game? I don't want to come home to something bad ever again when I could prevent the being away while playing part.”
Audra plays with the hair at the base of my neck with one hand with sad eyes. “You can't keep worrying about what if's, Neil. Here,” she takes my hand and hovers it above her stomach, “if she moves, then you will play if a contract comes your way. If she doesn't, then consider your hockey days numbered. Now, ask her what she thinks.” She puts my hand on her belly.
She seems so serious about it that I laugh, but say, “What do you think, baby girl?” I feel a kick before I can even finish.
A grin rises on Audra's face. “Looks like we have an answer.”
