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ONCE LUCY IS all settled after her surgery in a room to recover, I kiss her forehead and tell her I need to get back. She’s supposed to send me updates, and I promise I’ll see her next Friday. Between Grant, Patrick, and Jon, she would be waited on hand and foot, I’m sure.
The first thing I do when I get back is go straight to Olivia’s. I knock, but she doesn’t answer. She’s home; I saw her car in the parking lot.
“Olivia,” I call out. Nothing. My stomach churns as a bad feeling settles over me. I try the knob and it gives. When I walk in, nothing seems out of the ordinary at first. But then I hear sobs, loud heartbroken cries, coming from her bedroom. I run to her room.
She’s in the fetal position on her bed, holding a pillow to her chest, crying her heart out. The sight of her shoulders shaking, the sharp, quick inhales, and the pure agony in her sobs momentarily stops me. What the hell?
“Olivia,” I say softly from the door, wondering if she’ll hear me.
She does, sitting up immediately. Her skin is blotchy, tears steadily rolling down, her hair stuck to the edges of her face while her lips have parted. I close the distance between us and pull her in my arms.
“What’s wrong?” What could have happened while I was gone to cause this? Then a low hum of rage simmers within me. Who the fuck upset her so much?
“What’s wrong?” she mocks, confusing the hell out of me as she pushes me away. “You let it take over again, didn’t you?” What? “You can’t do that, Corey!” she yells, shoving my chest before she scrambles off the bed. What is she talking about? Olivia tries to storm out of the room, but I quickly follow her and grab her elbow, which she promptly yanks out of my grasp.
Olivia swivels to face me. “You can’t give in and let it consume you! You can’t ignore me and shut me out either! I can’t believe you! You even moved your spare key so I couldn’t get in! You’re such a selfish bastard!” she screams at me through her tears. Her eyes are so angry as she shoves me.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” she continues. “I’ve been trying to help you and after an argument, you just push me away?! You can’t do that!” Her voice breaks as she pushes me again and again, rattling on without letting me explain. “You can’t give up, Corey! You can’t let it take over!” The tears are relentless down her cheeks, falling onto her shirt. “You can’t give up! You can’t!”
I’m able to grab her elbows as all the fight leaves her. My chest aches as I wrap her arms around my waist. I don’t know if it’s from her hits or because she’s so upset and sounds terrified. I slide my arms around her and hold her, my shirt soaking up her tears. When her crying slows down, I swallow hard to find my voice.
“I didn’t let it take over and I didn’t give up, Olivia,” I whisper. I don’t trust myself to speak too loudly because I’m responsible for her breaking down. Something still isn’t right, though. She shouldn’t have…done that…just because I didn’t answer my door or my phone.
“What?” She tilts her head back to look at me when I don’t loosen my grip for her to pull away. “But you didn’t answer me last night or at all today, and the key wasn’t under the mat.”
“The key is wherever you left it. I didn’t answer because I wasn’t home and I forgot my phone.” She squints in confusion, so I continue to explain. “Patrick called me because Luce was on her way to the hospital. I had to go see her and when I left, I forgot my phone on my nightstand. Patrick didn’t have your number, so I couldn’t call you and tell you what was going on. I’ve been with Lucy and them the entire time. I didn’t let it take over and I didn’t give up,” I repeat. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”
With the pads of my thumbs, I wipe her tears away. She’s a mess from crying for God knows how long.
“Is she okay?”
“Yeah, she had to get her appendix removed. That’s all. She’s a wuss when it comes to doctors, so we all stayed with her.” Her eyes are still watery. “I’m sorry.” I’m not sure how many times I’ll have to say it before she feels better, before I feel better about triggering this.
“It’s not your fault. I just…” Three tears spill over back-to-back. “I thought,” she tries, but buries her face in my chest, sobs taking over again. Her iron grip ensures I can’t step even an inch away from her. Not that I want to, but God, what happened?
Does this have to do with Aaron? Or whoever it is? It has to be.
“Olivia,” I begin as gently as possible. “You need to talk to me. I was only gone for—” I try to calculate how long it’s been.
“At least eleven hours and forty-five minutes,” she mumbles against my chest. That means she tried to either text or come over around four in the morning because she’s short two hours.
“C’mon.” I tug her over to the bed, leaning against the headboard as she crawls in next to me, wrapping her arms tightly around me. With a deep breath, I ask, “Does this have to do with Aaron somehow?”
Her entire body goes still. She holds her breath for almost a minute and when she exhales, it’s shaky. Just like the day I admitted I needed help, I lay my free arm along my leg, palm up. Olivia hesitates before taking it. “How do you know his name?” she finally whispers.
Oh, man. I have to tell her. “You talk during your nightmares and you say his name.”
Every one of her muscles tenses next to me. “What do I say?”
“‘Please, Aaron. Please, don’t do this.’ The first time I heard you, that’s all you said, but this week, you started saying something else afterwards. ‘Corey, not you too. Please.’” A soft gasp leaves her. I could hear her voice in my head as I said it and I hate it. “You always remembered them, didn’t you?” She nods, admitting to lying to me. “Talk to me, Olivia.”
“I don’t want to.” Her voice is so low and almost childlike.
“You need to.” I squeeze her hand and with my other, I rub up and down her back.
She’s quiet for a few minutes. “Can we lie here for a while first? It hasn’t kicked in that you’re here yet.” As a thought hits her, she props herself up and looks at me. “Unless you need to get back to Lucy?”
“No, the worst is over, and she’s with my brothers and Grant. She’ll be fine.” Olivia settles back into me. “We’ll lie here for a bit, and then you’re talking.”
