AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She pulled her hand free, and got up to take her plate over to the sink. I followed suit. Stepping up behind her, I put my plate in the sink then placed my hands on the counter on either side of her.
“I need to go check on Shawn.”
I looked at the baby monitor sitting on the island. “I’m pretty sure he’s still sleeping. Can we just have one conversation about us where you don’t try to run away?” I spun her to face me, and circled my arms around her waist.
“I’m not!” She shoved my chest. “Let me go, Malcolm.” She shoved me again, and I released my hold. She quickly backed away from me, wrapping her arms protectively around her body.
“Shit, Ginger, I’m sorry. I just want—”
“I know what you want, Malcolm. You make it clear every time you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
“Whoa, what? What the hell do you mean by that?” I took a step forward. She took another back.
She started massaging her temples, keeping her eyes down at the floor. “Nothing. I don’t want to talk about this again.”
“Talk about what again, because as best as I can tell you shut down any real conversation I attempt to have with you. And now you’re making comments about me not keeping my hands to myself. I try. Lord knows I try to restrain myself as much as I can when it comes to touching you, but damn...you kept his name. You continue to live in his house. Hell, you even have kept all his fucking cars in the garage. Please just explain to me why you are so hellbent on not moving forward, because I just don’t understand. ”
She refused to look at me. I watched, waiting impatiently as she took slow breaths and mumbled low to herself. “Forgive me if I’m not ready for some man to once again force me to give up my independence and move out of my home into a place of his choosing. Been there, done that! You ambushed me into this relationship—”
“I ambushed you?” I took a step forward. “Is that what you think about me? About us? You’re comparing me wanting to live with you to that fucker forcing you to? Is this a real situation right now?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was trying my damnedest to make her happy, to erase what he’d done to her, and she was telling me I was no better than him. How could she even compare us like that?
I took another step toward her, but Ginger put one hand up as a barrier, and the other clutched her chest.
“Yes...no...I...I can’t breathe…” She stumbled forward, clumsily trying to steady herself by reaching for the counter.
My arms went around her in support. I watched in shock and horror as she took huge gasping breaths. Her entire body trembled. What the hell was happening? Picking her up, I carried her over to the couch. Her fists tightened around my shirt when I tried to leave her.
“I need to call 9-1-1.”
She shook her head no. Against my better judgement, I stayed with her, kneeling beside the couch as she clung to me like a lifeline. I focused on
being her support. Holding her shaking form as she took rapid breaths, forced me to keep my own breathing under control to get her through whatever the hell this was. Her knuckles were white, tears soaked through my shirt, and I prayed. I sent silent prayers to the heavens for this to stop, and for her to be okay.
The minutes ticked by, and I mentally kicked myself for being such an asshole. I kept my arms wrapped around her. When the trembling stopped, I let out a long, shaky breath. Her grip on my shirt loosened.
“I...I think I’m okay now.” Her voice sounded scratchy. She kept her head down. “You can go.”
“Go? Like hell! I’m not leaving you right now. What just happened?”
“Malcolm, please.”
I placed my hands on either side of her tear-soaked cheeks, making her face me. “You just scared the ever living shit out of me, and you think I’m going to leave?”
She closed her eyes, and fresh tears spilled down her face. “I’m fine.”
My jaw clenched. Taking a slow breath, I spoke, keeping my tone low and gentle. “Calida, stop shutting me out. Please. I’m not the enemy. I promise you.”
She opened her eyes, and looked down at her hands. I watched as she twirled the ring around her finger. “I...had…or have panic attacks.”
Disbelief. A million questions fired through my head. How long had this been going on? How did I not know? Did Macy know? How in the hell had she managed to hide this from me? She had panic attacks, and I’d just triggered one. I sat back against the leather ottoman, watching as she continued to twirl the ring around her finger.
“It’s not that big of a deal,” she said softly. “I mostly had them under control but…” she looked up at me, seemingly deciding on if she wanted to continue or not.
“But what?”
“They...they recently started again.”
