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“I can get out of here in ninety minutes. I’ll meet you wherever you want.”
“Not tonight. I’ll let you know where or when.”
“Wait!” If it had been possible, Nadine would have burst through the ’link screen. “Give me something on the suspect. Do you have a description, a name?”
“All avenues of investigation are being vigorously pursued. Blah, blah, blah.” Eve broke transmission on Nadine’s curse.
Satisfied, she walked into the kitchen, ordered coffee. Then just stood by the window, looking out at the gathering dark.
He was out there now. Somewhere. Did he already have another date? Was he, even now, making himself into some hopeful woman’s fantasy?
Tomorrow, the next day, would there be other friends, more family she would have to shatter?
The Lutzes would never fully recover. They’d go on with their lives, and after a while they wouldn’t think of it every minute of every day. They’d laugh again, work, shop, breathe in and out. But there would always be a hole. Just a little hollow inside their lives.
They’d been a family. A unit. She’d sensed that unification in the house. In the comfort and clutter of it. In the flowers outside the door, and the easy give of the sofa.
Now rather than parents, they were survivors. Those who survived lived forever with that echo of what was gone sounding inside their heads.
They’d kept her room, Eve thought now while her coffee sat in the AutoChef going cold. When she’d gone through it, looking for something, anything to add to the sum of Grace Lutz, she’d seen the stages of a life, from child to young girl to young woman.
Dolls carefully arranged on a shelf. Decoration now rather than toys, but still treasured. Books, photographs, holograms. Trinket boxes in the shapes of hearts or flowers. The bed had had a canopy the color of sunbeams, and the walls had been virgin white.
Eve couldn’t imagine growing up there, in all that sweet, girlish fuss. Ruffled curtains at the windows, the inexpensive minicomputer on the desk that had been decorated with daisies to match the shade on the bedside lamp.
The girl who’s slept in that bed, read by that lamplight had been happy, secure, and loved.
Eve had never had a doll, nor curtains at the windows. There’d been no precious little pieces of girlhood to tuck away in heart-shaped boxes. The childhood rooms she remembered were cramped, anonymous boxes in cheap hotels where the walls were thin and often, too often, things skittered in dark corners.
The air smelled stale, and there was no place to hide, no place to run if he came back and wasn’t drunk enough to forget you were there.
The girl who had slept in those beds, trembled in those shadows had been terrified, despera
te, and lost.
She jolted as a hand touched her shoulder, and instinctively reached for her weapon as she spun around.
“Steady, Lieutenant.” Roarke ran his hand down her arm, rested it lightly on her weapon hand as he studied her face. “Where were you?”
“Trying to make a circle.” She eased away from him, opened the AutoChef for her coffee. “I didn’t know you were home.”
“I haven’t been for long.” He laid his hands on her shoulders now, rubbed at the tension. “Did you have a memory flash?”
She shook her head, sipped the cold coffee, continued to stare out the window into the dark. But she knew if she didn’t rid herself of it, it could fester. “When you were gone,” she began, “I had a dream. A bad one. He wasn’t dead. He was covered with blood, but he wasn’t dead. He talked to me. He said I’d never kill him, never get away.”
She saw Roarke’s reflection in the glass, saw her own merging with it. “He had to punish me. He got up. Blood was pouring out of him, but he stood up. And he came for me.”
“He is dead, Eve.” Roarke took the cup out of her hand, set it aside, then turned her to face him. “He can’t hurt you. Except in dreams.”
“He said to remember what he’d told me, but I can’t. I don’t know what he meant. But I asked him why he hurt me. He said because I was nothing and no one, but most of all he hurt me because he could. I can’t seem to take that power away from him. Even now I can’t.”
“You diminish him every time you stand for a victim. Maybe the further away you get from him in reality, the harder it is to pull back in dreams. I don’t know.” He skimmed his fingers through her hair. “Will you talk to Mira?”
“I don’t know. No,” she corrected. “She can’t tell me anything I don’t know.”
Are ready to know, Roarke thought, and let it be.
“Anyway, I need her for a consult on the murders.”
