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“Do you have everything?” Brandon asked me as the four of us rode the elevator down to the building lobby two days later.
I had a death grip on the handle of my suitcase. I nodded. “Yes. I don’t need much.” I looked away because it hurt to look at him. I was grateful it was a late flight to meet up with the tour in Miami. I planned to cry in the dark cabin, head turned toward the window.
“I’m so happy for you but I’m so sad for me,” Poppy said, reaching over and throwing her arms around my midsection.
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“I’m happy and sad too,” I said. “I’ll miss you. You too, Willow.”
Willow was sniffling. She’d been torn, both excited that she would have access to backstage videos and insider information, but mad at me for leaving her.
“Are you going to miss Dad?” Poppy said, as the elevator doors opened.
It was an odd question but I figured she didn’t mean anything by it. I nodded. She clearly wanted me to say yes and it was the unfortunate truth. “Yes, I am.”
Brandon put his arm across the elevator door so it would stay open for the three of us to exit first. It hit me that it had been almost a year since I had met him on an elevator. It felt like a lifetime ago.
“Liam, can you grab us a cab?” Brandon asked the doorman.
“Sure thing, Mr. Macnamara.” Liam smiled at me. “Good luck, Miss Tanner.”
“Thanks, Liam.” I had a lump in my throat but I managed to return his smile.
Willow was looking at her reflection in the windows. Poppy was pacing back and forth without bending her knees.
“Liam got a cab,” Brandon said.
That was really damn quick. Too quick. I started for the door.
“Let’s go outside with Dakota.” Brandon opened the door for me.
I stepped out into the crisp October air. They followed behind me. The cab driver got out and popped his trunk. As he took my suitcase, I hugged the girls, hard, one to each side.
“Stay awesome. Text me.”
“We will. Have fun,” Willow said.
“Say hi to Sneak for us,” Poppy said.
That made me laugh even though my stomach was in knots. “I will.” I looked over at Brandon. “You stay awesome, too.”
He surprised me by shooing the girls away and pulling me into a tight hug. I sighed, letting my eyes drift closed so I could just savor the way it felt to be in his arms. Even with my hands against his chest from his unexpected embrace, I still cherished the closeness with my carriage rescue man. Hot halftime husband.
“I wish I had known it was the last time when we were together the last time,” he murmured in my ear.
That nearly destroyed me. I pulled back quickly.
“I wish a lot of things,” I said, before jumping into the cab. I couldn’t stay another second. There were already tears in my eyes and my stomach hurt. “JFK,” I told the driver. “Go, please.”
I waved to Poppy and Willow as the taxi pulled away.
I was doing the right thing for them, but it really hurt like hell.
Putting my hand over my eyes, like I could somehow prevent the avalanche of tears, I realized I didn’t agree with Brandon. I was glad I hadn’t known it was the end of our relationship the last time we’d had sex. I couldn’t have casually had goodbye sex. That wasn’t me.
It was better not to have known.
Live in the moment. That’s what I always told Brandon.
