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Marian looked up at Cecil incredulously. “Uh…you don’t know the name of the assistant you’re going to be sending to rummage through my home looking for a multimillion-dollar ring?”
“Marian, they change so frequently, I can’t be bothered to keep track of their names. Rose, Kirk, Lili, Emile, who the hell knows? But I can ensure you not a single one of them would ever be stupid enough to risk being fired for screwing up this errand. We only hire kids from the Ivys, and they are all grossly overpaid if you ask me. Besides, the ring is insured, and trust me, there’s really nothing in your apartment that anyone would want to steal.”
Freddie projectile spat his mouthful of chocolate mousse all over his plate as he burst out in laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Cecil asked angrily.
“Nothing,” Freddie answered lightly. “Where’s the waiter? Don’t we need to order?”
Lucie fumed as Marian and Charlotte sat in uncomfortable silence, not sure how to resolve this matter.
“You know what? If you don’t trust one of my Ivy League minions, I will go and get the ring myself,” Cecil announced, rising from the table and rushing off just as the waiter arrived to take their orders.
“Oh well, let’s go ahead and order first. I’m not waiting for Cecil,” Marian said decisively.
After everyone had placed their lunch orders, Charlotte suggested, “Let’s google some famous animal activists and find the perfect person to honor at your benefit, Marian.”
“Yes, who should we try for?” Marian wondered.
Charlotte scrolled through her phone. “Okay…here’s a good list of celebs. Let’s see…Paul McCartney…we’ll never get him either. How about Penélope Cruz? She was so good in the latest Almodóvar film.”
“Hmm…I’m not sure she’s quite right for this crowd,” Marian assessed.
“Jared Leto.”
“Love him, but not right for this crowd either,” Lucie assessed.
“Oh, how about Bea Arthur?”
“She’s dead,” Freddie said.
“When did she die?!” Charlotte cried.
“Like, years ago,” Freddie replied.
“How sad! I must have missed that news cycle. Wait, here’s a good one for the Long Island crowd—Wendy Williams.”
“That’s a good possibility. Any others?”
Charlotte gasped. “I’ve got it! I’ve got it! Cornelia Guest!”
“Oh, she’d be terrific!” Marian agreed.
Charlotte held up a PETA ad featuring Cornelia with an incredible mane of blond hair cleverly covering up her volup
tuous nude body, accompanied by the slogan I’D RATHER GO NAKED THAN WEAR FUR.
“She’s a babe!” Freddie said.
“She’s so much more than a babe, Freddie. She’s an actress, she’s a cruelty-free fashion connoisseur who designed a line of vegan handbags, she runs her own vegan catering company and animal rescue operation, and she’s actually from Long Island!” Charlotte read out loud from the web page.
“Even more perfect!” Marian clapped her hands together excitedly.
“You know, I think Cecil might actually know her,” Lucie said.
“Really? Then this will be a piece of cake! Making the connection is the hardest part. Usually I have to spend months going through all these awful PR reps, agents, and managers to get to anyone famous.”
When Cecil returned to the table, everyone looked at him in anticipation.
