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Evan shakes his head, smiling faintly. “I thought I noticed a baby bump, but was waiting for you guys to share the news. By the way, you should have said something on the phone. You let me drag you here all this way when she should be taking it easy.”
“Hey, I am taking it easy.” I gesture at the sofa. “Did you miss the part where I spent most of today asleep?”
“Kids are such a blessing,” he murmurs, his gaze a bit distant, as if he hasn’t heard me. “Some people don’t realize how fucking much, don’t appreciate what they have.”
“Language, Evan,” Melissa scolds him, and I snort-laugh.
This kid is too much.
The surprised look on his face either means she normally doesn’t do that, or that he was so far inside his head he’s shocked someone heard him. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she mutters, and I fight the urge to snort-laugh some more.
“Baby will be here in about… four months and…” I stop, hearing my own words.
Four months.
Holy crap. In four months I will have a baby in my arms, Matt’s baby. My heart swells, my eyes start to burn.
Oh no, I’m going to start crying for no good reason at all.
“We’re going upstairs,” Matt says, as if sensing this. He always gets me, feels me. “Like she said, we need to talk.”
Gently, he turns me around and steers me toward the stairs.
I let him, hanging on to him. We go up the stairs a step at a time. Just like in life, I tell myself, willing the tears not to fall, mortified that I’d break down over such a small thing, such a beautiful thing. A good thing.
Is it hormones? I feel so overwhelmed lately—with feelings. With worry. With joy.
That’s a good thing, right?
The best thing.
Ever.
* * *
“Come here.” The moment we are inside the guest bedroom with the door closed, he pulls me into his arms. “You okay?”
I burrow into his strong chest, his arms like walls around me, his scent calming me down, making me go lax and pliant. “Yeah.”
“What happened? Did I say something that upset you?”
“No, it was fine. I’m…” Easily moved to tears, but I don’t want to talk about myself. “You looked mad when you entered the living room. What happened?”
He pulls back a little to look down at me. “I wasn’t mad at you, Tay.”
“I know.” I smile up at him. God, I love this guy. “I know that. But something did happen, right?”
He rubs circles against my lower back. His eyes soften. “It’s nothing. Just that Kaden insists we get extra help for the shop. He may be right. God knows he’s got just as much a say in that business as I do, but… I forget that sometimes. I forget he’s not a small, snotty kid anymore but a grown-up man with experience and a family. A responsible man. But I’m too worried about everyone most of the time to let him take any responsibility. I feel like I’m accountable for every problem at work, or in the family, and… And I don’t know why the fuck I’m telling you all this. You don’t need to concern yourself with my crazy mind.”
“I love concerning myself with your crazy mind. You’re my man. My partner. My love. I want to share everything with you.”
He sighs and draws me closer, pressing my head to his chest, where I can listen to his heartbeat boom. “You shouldn’t have to. I need to get my shit together. Get over this goddamn anxiety, over this fear.”
But of course he’s worried about the garage. About his brother, his kids. About Evan and Melissa.
Sure, I am worried, too, about the future. I just got my early childhood education degree, and I’m pregnant. Still need to do my bachelor’s, and getting a job now is probably out of the question, at least for the next year. Daycare will be a bit more than we can afford with still getting a new business off the ground.
