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Fucking shit. “Pass her the phone.”
I shouldn’t have left my kids alone.
I shouldn’t have brought Octavia along.
I shouldn’t be messing things up after all this time. Can’t have my little girl sad, or Octavia in danger because of her insistence on meeting her douchebag of a half-brother… and yet I couldn’t abandon Evan, not after he helped me out when I was at my lowest, back when I lived here.
Dammit.
“Daddy?” comes a tiny, hiccupping voice, and my chest grows tight. “That you?”
“It’s me, baby. Tell me what’s wrong.”
There’s a lot of sniffling and sobs that threaten to break my fucking heart. “Are you okay, Daddy? And Tati, too?”
“Yeah, we’re both just fine, and we’ll be there tomorrow. I’m sure it was all a bad dream.” I close my eyes as the sniffling continues. “Why don’t you tell me what it was?”
I need to fix this. Somehow.
“There was blood, and it was dark, and… and people died, and I was so scared.” Her small voice is turning me inside out. I’m her dad. I’m supposed to protect her, make sure she’s never afraid—but how do I protect her from a dream?
“And do you have this dream often, sweetheart?”
Hiccups. Damn, I hope Gigi is holding her right now, giving her the hug I’m too far to offer. “Yeah.”
Shit. “What is scaring you? Something’s scaring you. What is it? Tell me, and I’ll make it right.”
“Daddy…”
“What is it?” I rub a hand over my face. Goddammit, I knew something was off. I should have delayed coming here, should have insisted she talked to me before we left St. Louis. “Talk to me. You know I love you. You and Cole. I’m always here for you. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She doesn’t say anything, and I think she won’t tell me. But then she sighs.
“I’m scared,” she says, and then, “about the baby.”
Huh. “The baby will be fine. Why would you worry about that? The baby won’t take your place. Ever. Or Cole’s. I love you all—”
“I’d rather,” she whispers, “have Tati.”
And the line goes dead.
What the hell does that mean? Why choose?
Jesus. Fucking nightmares. None of this made any sense, unless she is jealous of the baby and that feeling is translated into fear and nightmares?
Who the hell knows?
One thing is clear to me: I can’t wait to get back home and get to the bottom of this.
* * *
After that, sleep is a lost cause. Jittery with damn nerves, I throw some clothes on and go down to the kitchen. I brew some coffee and drink it standing at the window, staring out into the dark.
It’s like a throwback to my early, dark days in Destiny—only back then I’d been drinking booze. Booze until dawn broke, and then coffee so that I could function enough to go to work.
A shudder wracks me.
A noise from the hallway snaps my attention away from the dark outline of trees against the night sky. The stairs creak, and I turn, fully expecting to see Octavia there.
