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The bus arrives in a cloud of dust and exhaust fumes, rumbling to a stop in front of us. Everyone hurries to climb inside, but I’m not ready to let Ross go.
“Hey, did you know? Buddy showed up at our house, and I... I asked Dad if we could keep him. I know he’s your dog, so I hope you don’t mind. If you’d rather have him...?”
Emotions flit over his face, too quick for me to read them. “No, it’s... fine, it’s good for him to have a real home. I can’t offer him that.”
“Sure you can. Ross...”
“No, I don’t know how to look after strays like you do. He’ll be happy with you.” He lifts a callused hand to my face, his touch gentle.
But something’s wrong. His gaze that had cleared over the past days and weeks, grown brighter, lost that empty look—is clouding over again, darkening. Something’s bothering him, frightening him, and he’s trying to cover it up.
Ross. I open my mouth to ask what it is, what is the problem.
But he’s turning and climbing into the bus already, vanishing before I can find the words to express what’s niggling at me, leaving me alone with my fears.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Ross
Time after time, I wake up drenched in cold sweat, screams dying in my throat, my hands twitching at my sides. Who the hell said that talking about the past helps? It’s as if I’ve stirred the pot of dreams and all the bad stuff has bubbled to the surface.
So that’s how I find myself curled up on the rocking chair on the porch, images of Luna, Dad, the prison—and... Buddy?—still playing in front of my eyes. There’s danger from every direction, but I can’t see it, I can only feel it... for all the good it does me.
It’s been happening more and more these days, especially when Luna isn’t around to wake me up, or just be there, keeping the nightmares at bay. How pathetic is that? That her presence guards my sleep. And though it works when she’s here, when she’s away she slips into my dreams and I’ve no way of protecting her from... myself. From the frightened stupid kid that runs my nightmares.
I wipe a hand down my face, groaning.
Then my phone starts ringing, and when I reply, a bored drone at work tells me that my shift was canceled and not to bother heading over today.
Good. Because I need to see Luna. Suddenly, I don’t give a fuck if her dad and brother are there and if they don’t like me. Just one glimpse of her, to see she’s alright, that’s all I want, and check on Buddy, too.
Forcing stiff muscles to move, I get up and go wash my face in the stream. Then I return to the house and go hunting after clean clothes. I need to beg Stacy to let me do my laundry at her place again. If Conrad finds out, I’m toast. I should do something for Stacy, for helping me out, letting me shop in her damn shop. What do women like... flowers?
Nah, Conrad would finally find an excuse to kill me and hide my body in the woods.
I glance at the trees and the river and suppress a shiver. I pat my pocket for the pendant, and frown before I remember I’ve lost it. I’m gonna have to look around the construction site, see if I dropped it there. And I need to talk to Merc again, see when they’re planning on coming down here. My feelings about that are mixed.
I dread seeing them.
And at the same time, I look forward to it, and I don’t know why. They don’t much like me. Merc makes the effort, but I pushed Octavia away, and Gigi always looks like she wants to spit on me. As for Matt Hansen, he hates my guts.
It’s gonna be a hell of a family reunion.
Grimacing to myself, I get ready, grab my wallet and keys and stomp out of the house, taking the path to Luna. I’m still not sure what the fuck I’ll do once I get there. Ring the doorbell? Stand outside and yell for her? Throw rocks at her window?
This is dumb, but I can’t make myself turn around. Soon, her house looms through the trees and I’m there, still without a plan.
No-one is around, the yard quiet and tidy, the small patch of lawn is neatly mown and the hedges trimmed—but I think I hear the sound of barking from inside.
Buddy.
I prepare to ring the doorbell, bang my fist on the door if needed, and explain myself later, but the barking throws me back into the nightmare where I was running... from Dad, I think, who was swinging that ax and mowing down people, and I was holding Buddy in my arms and Luna by the hand...
The house door opens and a glaring face is thrust into mine. “What do you want?”
Green eyes, dark curls, an angry sneer. I shake the cobwebs of the dream off me. “You’re Josh. Luna’s brother.”
“It’s Joshua,” he snarls. Oh, the boy’s pissed at me. Big time. “Fuck off and don’t ever come back.”
