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“You’re welcome,” she says as she reaches back to grab her purse, and a big brown envelope. Her hand shakes as she holds it out to me. “I brought the papers you wanted me to sign. I had them notarized and everything. So all you have to do is file them.”
I take the envelope from her. “Thanks. You want to come inside?” I lean my head toward the big house.
“Is your dad here?” She smiles what I think is probably a genuine smile. I never could tell about Laura’s smiles.
“He’s inside working on a puzzle.” I take her elbow. “Come in. He’ll be happy to see you.”
“If you’re sure,” she says hesitantly.
“I’m sure.” I hold the umbrella over her head as we go up the steps. She stops on the porch and kicks off her wet shoes. She always did that at home, too. Wet shoes never mattered to me, but they did to her.
She comes in, and I stop to shake the water from the umbrella as she greets Pop. She hugs him and admires his puzzle from over his shoulder, and then she picks up a puzzle piece and puts it in place. Pop grunts and covers her hand where it’s resting on his shoulder. He pats it and she smiles. Her eyes meet mine.
“You want something to drink?” I ask as she loiters around the kitchen.
Pop looks out the kitchen window. “The rain is slowing down. Why don’t you two take a walk?”
I look at Laura. She shifts uncomfortably on her feet and shrugs her shoulders. “Sounds good to me.”
“Yeah, okay,” I say. I walk to the door and Laura follows me. She stops and puts her shoes back on.
We walk in silence side by side. “Where’s the baby?” I ask. I didn’t even think of her child when she got here. What kind of husband does that make me? The kind that didn’t father her child, apparently.
“Oh, she’s with Freddy,” Laura says. She looks down at her watch. “He should be here in about an hour. I hope that’s okay. I needed someone to pick me up.”
I stumble over my own toe. “Fred’s coming here?”
She nods. “Is that all right?”
Hell no, it’s not all right. “Sure. Whatever.”
She stops and turns to face me. “I’m sorry, Jake. I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” I look everywhere but at her.
“I should have told you. I should have given you some warning. But…I couldn’t. I tried so many times. But I didn’t want to hurt you. There was a tiny little part of me that hoped desperately that the baby would be yours.”
“You should have warned me.”
She stares up at me and I finally allow myself to look into her eyes. “To be honest, there was also a part of me that hoped the baby wasn’t yours.” She sucks in a breath. “Through the years, my feelings for you changed.”
I nod. I can’t think of a single word to say.
“I thought a baby would fix everything, but then we had such a hard time getting pregnant, and with all the babies we lost…” Tears fill her eyes and she doesn’t try to stop them. “We stopped loving one another. And all I had left was the idea of a happy family. I wanted one desperately. Each child we lost made me want it more.”
I swallow hard. “Why would you turn to Fred, of all people?”
“I met Freddy before I met you,” she says. “Do you remember that night?”
I nod.
“He was sweet and charming and quiet, and he seemed so steady. And then I saw you. And you eclipsed the sun, Jake. You were vibrant and outgoing, and you were so strong. I thought what I wanted was strength. But it’s not. You didn’t just eclipse the sun. You eclipsed me. I could never keep up with you. You wanted action and I wanted to sleep. You wanted movement and I wanted silence. You couldn’t sit still and I couldn’t take enough breaks.”
“I resented the hell out of you then,” I admit.
She sighs. “You probably still do.”
I nod and an ironic chuckle escapes my lips. “I have lately, that’s for sure.”
