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“There’s really nothing to mention—”
“You kidding me? How about that you fucking have one, and you’ve been sleeping in my bed?”
“Well, we don’t really do much sleeping—”
“That’s not the fucking point!” He digs his thumbs into his temples and clenches his eyes closed. His chest heaves as he takes in a deep breath then reopens them. “I’ve tried to give you time to tell me. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me? Knowing I’m sleeping with someone who doesn’t belong to me? You know how fucking shitty that makes me feel? But then I can’t seem to stay away from you. Because I’m so goddamn in love with you still, I ignore everything else.” He pauses, swallowing. His eyes are pleading as he continues. “Anytime anyone brings up something about your life, you shut down. Why? Is this all just an escape from reality for you? Playing house with me and getting me to fall for you all over again, just for you to leave? Who is he? Are you two serious? Do you love him?”
Guilt swarms in my chest as his confession tears at my heart. This whole time, while I’ve been avoiding being honest, he’s been battling with right and wrong. He has every right to be mad. To even hate me. I wet my dry lips, my heart starting to race. “It’s not what you think—”
He throws his hands up. “Jesus Christ, Holly, stop fucking hiding.”
“I’m not!” My phone goes off again. I shut it off.
“Don’t ignore it on my account.” He turns his back on me and disappears into the bathroom.
“Liam, please. It’s not what you think.” I find my jeans and hurry into them, along with one of Liam’s discarded shirts. “I’m not hiding anything. It’s just…”
He returns. “Answer me this, what are we?”
“I don’t understand.”
“What. Are. We? What are we doing here?”
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. There are so many things I want to say. Confess. But I’m frozen in this dimension of freaking out and really nervous. So, I say nothing. My silence gives Liam the wrong idea, and he exhales in defeat.
“Nice, Holls. Real fucking nice.” Shoving past me, he walks to the front door and slides into his boots.
“Where are you going?”
“I need some space.”
“From what? We’re in the middle of a conversation.”
He turns, his sullen eyes devoid of hope. He shakes his head. “No. I was in the middle of hoping, even though I’ve gone along with this whole friendship game, that our feelings were mutual. I guess I was wrong. I read us all wrong.”
He turns again and opens the door. Panic seizes my lungs. The thought of confessing my awful truth scares me, but him walking out of my life again scares me even more. He has one foot out the door when I finally speak.
“Because none of it is true.”
He stops and slowly turns to me. “Us?” I suck in a sharp breath as a knife slices into my chest. How could he ever think the last few days between us have been fake? “Gee, thanks for clearing that up—”
“My life. My job. The boyfriend,” I scoff. “My perfect life. I lost my job a month ago. My mom is so proud of me, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her. So… I’ve been lying to her.”
“Why would you lie about something like that? You know your mom wouldn’t judge you.”
“But she would’ve felt sorry for me. And I don’t need anybody pitying me.”
He hesitates before he asks the next question. “The boyfriend?”
“Same as the job. Gone. I underestimated my worth.” I laugh cynically. “He cheated on me.” I break eye contact. “I lied. I was just ashamed. I got cheated on. Who wants to admit that? I came home to get away from it. I never planned on staying long. Certainly never planned on you being here. But here you are.” I swallow, forcing down the lump in my throat. “And before I knew it, I got caught up in this little game of ‘let’s pretend my real life doesn’t exist while our old perfect life never stopped.’”
He continues to stare at me but doesn’t attempt to ease any of my guilt. His lips draw together. The only movement is the ticking of his jaw. “Are you going to say something? Tell me to leave? Call me a liar? Shit, call me whatever, just say something.” Tears pool in my eyes. I know I fucked up. His pinched lips and hard expression tell me so. A tear cascades down my cheek, and I take a deep breath to rein in my emotions “Okay then. Well…I guess the silent treatment should tell me enough.”
He releases the door, taking a few steps toward me. My heart beats out of my chest. I’m practically choking on my guilt. Maybe this is where he throws me out. “Listen, no need to drag me out of here. I’ll leave on my own. Again, I’m really. . .”
