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Her expression went tense. My fingers clenched into fists in my pockets. I might not be so sure of Wendy’s method, but I had a feeling, if I walked away now, it would be even harder for me to talk to her. She wasn’t making it very obvious, but with the way she was holding Danny ever since we were inside, it was as if she was trying to keep me from seeing the child correctly.
She was trying to hide him from me.
I sighed and released my fists. “We need to talk, Alessandra. Please.”
Slowly, she turned and met my gaze. We stared at each other for a few seconds, before she sighed as well and looked away from me, the tension leaving her shoulders. Her expression seemed unwilling, but as Wendy reached her hands out for Danny, she didn’t refuse to release him.
Chapter Twelve
Alessandra
I watched as Wendy got inside the car, with both our sons in the back of it, and drove off. Joshua was only a few feet away from me, and my body was stiffening up once more with tension as we were left alone.
The automatic gates opened for Wendy’s car, and as they closed behind her, I felt something ominous in the metallic clang.
“Shall we go back inside?”
I knew he was right there, but when he talked, I still jumped. I shot a glance at him before looking away.
Fuck. I’m entirely acting guilty here!
I was feeling guilty, though.
After realizing that his relationship with Rachel hadn't changed much that time I stopped by his office, I had been confused. I wasn’t sure what I should feel, or what I should do. My heart wanted one thing, but my mind was intent on being cautious. So while I didn’t ignore him entirely, I didn’t reach out to him first in the past several days.
“Alessandra?”
I startled again, having lost myself in thought. I whirled around without looking at him and entered the house. He walked inside behind me, and I heard the door close.
I want to run away.
There was no way I could face Joshua just yet; I didn’t think I was ready. Even worse, he saw Trent. I tried to make sure he wouldn’t see Danny’s face.
Why did I let Wendy talk me into bringing Trent here, to begin with, I groaned internally.
Receiving the call had not been a surprise. While I was minimizing contact with Joshua, I was not doing the same with Wendy. The invite to her place came out of nowhere, but because I thought she needed help, I didn’t want to tell her no. Then she’d told me I might as well bring my son and look after the two children together, so I could stick around longer without worrying about my son. I hadn't been convinced of it at first, but Wendy assured me she had two or more of everything bought for her baby, and she didn’t mind me borrowing it.
So, after some thinking, I thought it would be fine. I didn’t expect for her to call Joshua here out of the blue, and then run off with both our kids in her newly bought double stroller.
Dammit, Wendy. What am I going to do with you?
While I was exasperated, I wasn’t mad at her. Wendy didn’t do things to be selfish. The moment she saw Trent when I arrived, she’d told me she would have figured out who the father was even if I hadn't told her. Then, somehow, she got me to spill about my insecurities and second-guessing.
I knew this was her way of telling me to choose before I let it consume me, but I was still a little annoyed that she couldn’t have just warned me.
Though to be fair, if she had, I might have tried to run, but it’s not like I could have anyway, with two children to look after.
“Would you like something to drink?” Joshua offered. “Wendy always keeps a supply of juice in her fridge; she should have several flavors.”
His footsteps headed for the kitchen, and while I was a little happy at the short reprieve so I could collect myself, it did nothing to lessen the apprehension. Because I knew, whether I liked it or not, that this was something that was going to happen.
A part of me was resigned. I would have told him already if I hadn't met Rachel at his office, but his deserving to know and my wanting him to know hadn't changed. I was just worried about what this would mean for my son and me.
“Just bring me any,” I called after him, deciding I felt a little thirsty.
Some minutes later, Joshua walked back into the living room. He held two glasses of juice. I didn’t meet his gaze as he kept one out to me. I took a sip and sighed as the cold, mango flavored drink went down my throat. It did calm my nerves just a little, so I made some more.
“Come and sit down,” he said.
