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I did as he said automatically, sitting on the couch. He sat on the single seat right next to the sofa and set his juice down. After taking a couple more sips, I held my glass on my lap.
“You act as if this is your place,” I said, trying to smile as I finally looked up.
Joshua’ expression told me he wasn’t in the mood for the humor.
“Alessandra, do you not want to be here?” he asked, suddenly.
My eyes widened, my mouth dropped open. I couldn’t answer, because really, I would have said yes when I knew I shouldn’t. This talk had to happen, sooner rather than later. In fact, it was already more than a year late. I knew that, but I was so afraid. If not for the fear, I would have told him the moment it I found out, only I knew he would tell his family, and I wanted nothing to do with any of them back then because I was angry and devastated.
It was different now.
“Please don’t expect me to answer that,” I said after a moment. “It’s a loaded question, Joshua. I know this is a set up by your cousin, I’m not dense or anything.”
His eyes narrowed. “Yeah, I figured it out, too. What I want to know, is why she felt it was even necessary to do something like this? Did something happen that I’m not aware of? I thought we were getting along really well, and then this happened out of nowhere.”
I ducked my head down, took another sip of my juice.
So he still hasn’t figured it out?
I didn’t say anything, and after a long moment of silence, he heaved a heavy sigh. There was a rustling sound, and I looked to find him loosening his tie to undo the first two buttons of his shirt. Then, he picked up his juice and drank down half the glass.
Our eyes met, and the intensity in his stopped me from looking away again.
“Fine,” he said. “You don’t have to answer that, but if I ask you about Trent, you’re at least going to tell me about him, aren’t you? Like, about how you lied you were just his nanny and not his mother? Or better yet, would you tell me who the father is?”
Question after question spilled out of his mouth, but my mind was already going blank; I felt numb. His expression was very steady, and he didn’t even bother to hide it.
“You know…” I let out in a whisper.
Joshua nodded. “Yes, Alessandra, I know that Trent is my son.”
I blinked at him several times in shock. I hadn't expected this. There I was, all nervous for the big reveal, and he already knew.
When did he find out? Since the beginning? Or…
He must have seen the shift in my expression because he spoke up quickly.
“If you think Wendy told me anything, you’re mistaken, but I’ll take that expression to mean you told my cousin about this before you even told me.”
My expression immediately shifted from suspicious to guilty. Why was it, that I could hide my pain so he wouldn’t see it, but he could see everything else on my face as if I were an open book? Or was it that he didn’t expect to see it, so he didn’t?
“How long have you known?” I asked after a minute, my voice quiet.
Was it since the beginning? I thought. When we met at the park, and I thought he didn’t see, maybe did see Trent and recognized him? Besides today, it was the only other time the two of them had been close together. I was careful not to mention the child’s name every time he asked about my ‘job’ as a nanny. Or did I give myself away in some other form? It was possible.
Crap, did he taste the milk that time in the limo when I thought I stopped it?
“It makes no difference, does it?” Joshua retorted. “All that matters is I know, Alessandra, and no one told me about it. I figured it out myself.”
I frowned at him, but after a second thought, decided it didn’t matter. I did feel a little ashamed that he could have been going a
long with my lie the whole time while knowing it was a lie.
“So, since you already know, what else is there to talk about?”
“You left me,” he said. I tilted my head, confused. “I want you back, Alessandra,” he added.
I stalled for a sec, then quickly shook my head.
