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Of course, I knew that. My parents had been happily married for more than two decades, but I knew even they had times when they argued, when they didn’t want to talk to each other, or when they had problems. Even when they didn’t want me to see it, it was hard not to notice. But every time, they fixed things between them.
Joshua and I never had any arguments. The reason we separated, was because I wasn’t brave enough to sit Joshua down and have a talk with him. I could have told him everything that bothered me, about his mom, and his relationship with Rachel. I was focused on school at the time, sure, but I knew he needed me, and I would let long days keep us apart when finding time for a damn phone call or a short visit wouldn’t have been a hard thing to do.
He thought about me, but I didn’t put in much effort to hold onto our love when I felt threatened after he’d fought against his mom’s wishes even in the wake of his dad’s illness.
“Please, Alessandra, give my cousin another chance, okay?” Wendy said after a long silence. “I’m only asking you to do this because I know it’s something you want to do. Whatever you’re worried about to do with Joshua, I can tell you right now; you don’t have to overthink about it. He’s always been a straightforward kind of guy, and he’s not the kind of person that would go behind your back.”
I didn’t do nearly as much as I should have the first time.
My lips pressed flat together as determination washed through me. It’s not too late. I can try again, and I owe Joshua a huge apology.
“I will,” I said, meeting her gaze. My eyes blurred as the urge to cry rose up in my throat, making me feel like I was choking. “I’m going to give him another chance. Crap, Wendy, I messed everything up, didn’t I?”
She smiled and shifted Danny in her arms so she could reach out and pat me on the back.
“It’s fine. You were at a stressful, emotional time in your life, and everything else happening just made you more emotional, then confused. It was easier to try to forget everything than to work through it all, so don’t be so hard on yourself.”
I sniffled as I wiped at my eyes. “But I could have ruined things between us for forever. I love him, Wendy, and we have a son together. I don’t know why I behaved the way I did when I’ve never once stopped trusting him…”
I choked up and let the words trail off. I covered my mouth with my hand, and squeezed my eyes closed, to try and hold back the crying. Once I started, it would be hard to stop.
Then, I felt a hand on my knee that startled me. Trent was surprised as well, making a squeal of protest as he squirmed. My eyes snapped open, and I saw Joshua kneeling in front of me, smiling gently up at me. I turned wide eyes to Wendy, who shrugged.
“I swear I didn’t call him; he has perfect timing. But since he’s already here, you can tell him what you just told me, can't you?”
“There’s no need,” Joshua said, and I turned back to him.
His other hand rose up to cup my cheek, and I felt my breath catch in my throat. He rubbed the corners of my eye to wipe away the stray tears.
“We can let the past be in the past,” he said. “I’d rather talk about our future right now.”
I watched him for a second, and my expression crumpled as I cried. Joshua’ arms went around me, holding both our son and me carefully so he wouldn’t smother Danny. I buried my face in his shoulder and gave into all the feelings I’d been running away from for longer than a year.
Chapter Fifteen
Joshua
It took a while for Alessandra to calm down, but I had to stop hugging her when Danny got tired of being squished between the two of us, and let out a wail of protest. I pulled back. Alessandra’s face was full of tears, and her eyes and the tip of her nose were puffy. I looked down at Danny she held in her arms, who was wildly swinging his closed fists.
“Sorry, little guy,” I murmured. “Am I hurting you?”
He went quiet as he looked up at me. Then he put a fist into his mouth and gurgled as he stared at me with wide, blue eyes that reminded me of my own.
This is my son, I thought and felt a little overwhelmed.
“Would you like to hold him?”
I looked up at Alessandra. She was managing a smile for me, though it was shaky around the edges. I hesitated, but I was curious. So I nodded.
“You’ll have to sit down first,” she said. “It can't be comfortable, kneeling on the floor like that.”
“Now that you mention it,” I said with a grimace.
I went to get off my knees, and there was a little ache, but it was easy enough to brush off. Alessandra shifted, so she was in the middle, giving me a room in the corner of the couch to sit down. I held my arms
out for Danny and froze.
“Um, how exactly do I hold him?”
