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I jerk and knock her hands away, seizing her arms. “Nothing will happen.”
She opens her mouth to speak, but I shake my head slowly. “Nothing. Will. Happen.”
This time, she gulps and stays silent until I loosen my hold on her. Only then does she speak, but slowly, as if I might detonate with the wrong word. “Both of our mothers thought they had all the time in the world too. Losing them did terrible things to our fathers.”
I snort. “I’m pretty sure both of our fathers were terrible people before they lost them.”
“It didn’t help to send them in the right direction. I need to make clear that I want our baby to be protected and cherished, no matter what. No matter how you feel if something happens to me.”
I swallow hard and meet her gaze, boring into mine. “Nothing is going to happen to you, and I refuse to allow the thought into the conversation. But I hear what you’re saying. But what I have that our fathers didn’t is my five…they would kill me rather than watch me turn into either of our fathers.”
It hits me all over that Victor will never meet my son. His absence I’ve had to power through is a hole open and aching inside me.
She searches my eyes for a second and then nods, satisfied. There’s an edge to her voice when she speaks again. “Good. Not that I want anything to happen to you, but…growing up, I’d rather not have a father than the one I’d been left with after my mother’s death. No child should endure that, or the feeling they are worthless to their own parent.”
When she leans forward and wraps her arms around me, the jewelry we both forgot about catches on my shirt.
She freezes and stares down at the diamonds again. “I should get this off so I can dress, and we can talk some more. Make plans. I know we have time, but things are volatile right now with the council.”
I help strip away the jewels and lay them on the bedside table for her to arrange in her jewelry box later. When she climbs out of bed, I rake my eyes down her bare skin, intent on cataloging any changes. Of course, nothing is different. She looks a little thin from her time away, but I can fix that easily enough.
“Go get showered. I’ll put this stuff away, and we can—”
She shakes her head and places her fingers over my lips to stop me from speaking. “I’m not done with this yet. I need a few more things from you to feel safe and secure in our baby’s future.”
I don’t bother hiding my confusion as she lets her fingers fall from my mouth. “What else do you need?”
Isn’t it what I promised her all that time ago…she’d feel safe? I haven’t kept that promise lately, and it eats at me.
“I want you to promise me that you will protect our child with your life. No matter what happens, he will come first, even before me.”
It takes me a second to realize what she’s asking of me. Another to dig inside myself…it’s hard to promise another’s safety over hers, especially someone I haven’t met, held, or touched. But there’s only one right answer here. “I’ll protect our child. But I won’t lose you. Those are the only terms I can agree to. If you have a problem with that, then…I don’t give a fuck.”
21
VALENTINA
I’m not sure what reaction he expects to his proclamation, but I know it’s not for me to pull out of his arms, wrap the sheet around my body, and leave the room in a trail of white Egyptian cotton.
His surprise is the only reason I get a head start down the hallway on the way to the command room.
“What are you doing?” he asks from behind me. His silken voice entwines in things I can’t allow myself to consider right now, not when I need to finish this.
Despite his protests last night, even I can see he’s hesitant with me. Slow to react in whatever way feels natural to him. He’s blocking his instincts, and I need it to stop, or we will never get out of this hole we’ve slid into.
I cast a glance over my shoulder and speed up enough he has to huff and move faster behind me, even if his legs are much longer than my own.
“Angel,” he warns as I round the corner into the command room where I freeze to find Kai sprawled in a chair, his tie askew, his legs thrown up onto the desk.
“Don’t you dare fucking look at her,” Adrian warns, but Kai hasn’t so much as glanced our way since we entered.
“Out,” Adrian snaps further, but I shake my head.
“No. I need him for a minute.”
