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“You mean with Jade?”
I nodded. “It’s what I want more than anything. She’s the only thing I ever wanted. And she wants to make our relationship public.”
“And you don’t want to?”
I twisted my lips. “It’s not that I don’t want to. Sometimes I want to scream from the top of my roof that she’s mine, all mine. But then I think about how unfair that would be to her. What do I have to offer her?”
“You have yourself. I have a feeling that’s really all she wants.”
“But you know what I’ve been through. I’m broken. I’m not sure I’ll ever be whole.”
“Are any of us ever whole?” the doctor said. “Everyone has his own burdens to bear, Talon. Granted, most people don’t have the kind that you have. But there’s an old saying that if everyone threw their problems in a pile, and you saw what they all were, you’d go racing back to take your own.”
I couldn’t help a small chuckle. “Seems unlikely that I would take my own problems back.”
“Maybe,” she said, “but remember, everything you’ve been through in your life has made you who you are today. And who you are today is the person that Jade fell in love with.”
I sat for a moment, letting that sink in. I’d never looked at it that way before. “I always thought that if she knew who I truly was, her feelings for me would be different.”
“Just because you haven’t told her everything that happened to you doesn’t mean she doesn’t see you for who you really are. She knows there’s something inside you, something you need to work through. That part is obvious to anyone close to you. And she hasn’t run away from it, has she?”
I shook my head. “No, she hasn’t. Even when I begged her to.”
“It’s never possible to know every single thing about the person you fall in love with. Everyone has a few things he keeps to himself. That’s normal.”
“But if you get into a relationship, one that’s supposed to last forever, aren’t the two supposed to become one?”
“One in that they’re unified, as a partnership, but the two people are still individuals. That never changes. In fact, if that starts to change, those are the times marriages tend to fail, when one tries to bend for the other.”
“I can’t imagine Jade bending.” I let out a laugh. “In fact, we just kind of had a discussion about that.”
“You want to tell me about it?”
I hadn’t really come here to talk about my relationship with Jade. There were other things more pressing. But what the hell? “She doesn’t like it when I forbid her to do something.”
Dr. Carmichael slid her lips into a grin. “That’s pretty understandable from where I’m sitting.”
“But you don’t understand. In the bedroom…”
“What?”
“In the bedroom, she does whatever I ask her to. Whatever I command her to.”
“Lots of women enjoy taking a submissive role in the bedroom. That doesn’t necessarily translate to a submissive role in the rest of her life.”
“That’s exactly what she said.”
“I’ve said it before. She sounds like a smart woman.”
“Yes, she is that. Definitely. That’s part of what I love so much about her. She’s hot, don’t get me wrong. Gorgeous, even. But her brain is just as sexy.”
Dr. Carmichael smiled again. “Most women would love to meet a man who feels that way.”
“I need to ask you something, something personal.”
“This isn’t really about me, but if it will help you, I’ll answer if I can.”
“My brother said he met you in Grand Junction, where you were at some psychology conference and he was there for a different conference.”
