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The words reverberated in her head, her surroundings moving to the perimeter of her consciousness. Love. She put her hand to her heart, which was thumping so hard it was making her feel ill. She loved him. The knowledge had been staring her in the face for a while but she just hadn't had the courage to ac¬knowledge it. But she did—she loved Travis Black...
She jumped to her feet, calling to Harvey, who came at once, clearly more than ready for home and his dinner. She didn't want to love Travis, she couldn't love him. With love came all sorts of complications she could do without.
She walked the rest of the way home slowly, her mind so preoccupied it came as something of a surprise when the cottage came into view, bathed in a serene twilight.
Travis didn't want her to. fall in love with him any more than she wanted it, she told herself feverishly a little while later as she fixed Harvey's dinner. Oh, he wanted her friend¬ship and trust, and not least her body, he had made that clear. He wanted them to be on an equal footing emotionally and physically so an affair between them wouldn't leave a bad taste in the mouth when it finally ended. But that was vastly different from love. A million light years away, in fact.
She set Harvey's bowl on the floor and the big dog imme¬diately did a good imitation of a vacuum cleaner as the food disappeared at an amazing rate.
Travis had told her early on in their relationship that he had loved and lost the love of his life, had spelt it out in no uncer¬tain terms, in fact. At the time she hadn't felt he was warning her that his commitment to another woman could only be a limited one—she had been feeling so muddled and confused herself—but maybe it had been a subtle hint to that effect? Yes, thinking about it now, she was sure it had been.
After putting Harvey's bowl in the deep stone sink, Beth made herself a cup of coffee and carried it out into the tiny back garden, which was now dark and still. The scent of roses and white lilies from several of the tubs was heavy in the warm air, the moonlight giving a little light but obscuring any im¬perfections so that all that remained was perfume and perfect quiet. She could have been the only person in the whole world.
As Harvey dropped himself at her feet, Beth sat on the bench, the wood still retaining the day's heat, and sipped at the fragrant coffee. How had this love crept up on her? she asked herself weakly. When had sexual attraction and fasci¬nation changed into something deeper? She couldn't put her finger on a specific point, but changed it had. Perhaps it had been a steady drip drip over the last weeks as he had worked himself into her life, talking to her, revealing so much of himself, making her laugh, making her mad, just being Travis ?
Gould you love someone without trusting them? She frowned in the shadows. Surely love and trust were insepara¬ble companions?
Why question the obvious? her mind retorted. She was living proof of it. She loved him—she loved him so much it frightened her to death and the feeling she'd had for Keith was a pale reflection in comparison, but she didn't trust him. He was a man—a fiercely attractive, powerful, successful man to boot—a man who would only have to snap his fingers to have women lining up. Perhaps if he had been Mr Average, a nine to five, potential family man with no baggage and nothing to set him apart from the crowd, there might have been a chance she could lower her defences enough to risk letting him in.
But Travis was light years away from being Mr Average. The party this weekend had been indicative of how things were. All the men wanted to be like him and all the women, even the happily married ones like Catherine, thought he was drop dead gorgeous and made no bones about it either. When the thought of how many females had been fluttering their lashes at him...
What was this woman like who had spurned his love? She found herself clutching the coffee cup so tightly she was in Anger of snapping the china handle and forced herself to relax her grip. How could any woman walk away from a man like Travis? Especially if he loved her? She bit down hard on her lip before drinking the rest of the coffee and then contin¬uing to sit in darkness. The normal peace it gave her was absent, however.
It was the ringing of her mobile phone in her bag which die had left in the kitchen which brought her to her feet a few minutes later. As she walked into the house she glanced at her watch. Eleven o'clock. Bit late for Catherine. Her heart began o thud. Travis had begun the habit of ringing her last thing lately, once or twice a week. Up until now she had refused to acknowledge she'd begun to be disappointed on the nights he didn't call.
'Hello, Beth.' His voice was deep and warm. 'I haven't woken you, have I? I know it's a little late to call.'
