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“You sure? It’s been a long day already.”
She gave me a soft smile, then leaned in and gave me a sweet kiss. “I’m fine. I’m just worried about Sage. So take my mind off of it. We’ve got a little drive.”
“Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
“Your ex-wife.”
My stomach plummeted. “Not exactly what we should be discussing on our wedding day.”
“You seem to be awfully calm about this baby stuff. Is it because of Katherine?”
Evidently, she would not be deterred. “Definitely not. Katherine was the worst patient in the history of man.” I tightened my fingers on the steering wheel. “You don’t want to hear this.”
“I do.”
“Why?”
“Because she gave you Wes. She couldn’t be all bad.”
Yes, she could. But it was true, she had given me an amazing kid. “We met on the circuit.”
“Racing circuit?”
I nodded as I navigated the town limits and got on the highway. “She got off on race car drivers. I wasn’t fresh on the scene. I’d been around long enough to know what I was getting into with her.” I shrugged. “A few good races and I was hitting the top of the leaderboards for a good part of the season. She was fun and I was invincible.”
Kelsey tugged at the little bit of lace on her dress. “Sounds like a different life.”
“It was. And I loved it. Me and my brother had been working pit crews at the derbies as soon as we hit sixteen. He’s a few years younger than me and snuck in before he got his license. I swear, the only reason I pulled ahead and landed a team was luck.”
“I doubt it.”
I untwisted her fingers from her dress and wound them with mine. “It’s the truth. I was a good driver, but there are a lot of them out there. If Jeff—the driver of the team I took over—hadn’t fucked up and failed a drug test, my life might be a lot different.”
I might still be living my life one race at a time. I might never have had my kid. I might never have met Kelsey. It was unsettling to think about. There were some nights when I wondered what would life be like if I’d made a different decision. Now, it seemed even more terrifying.
“That’s how you ended up racing?” Her voice was filled with wonder.
“Yep. Crazy, right? Right place, right time. Hell, if I hadn’t raced the track three tenths of a second faster than my brother, he might have been right where I was.”
“And with Katherine?”
My laugh was harsh enough that she flinched. “No, probably not with Katherine. Racing was his sole focus. Still is. He knew how to party, but he always had his eye on the winner’s circle.”
“And you didn’t?”
I shrugged. “I loved it. But the moment Katherine told me we’d gotten pregnant, my life changed. I wasn’t just thinking about the leaderboard anymore. Maybe that’s why I fucked up in the end. Your head has to be completely in the car and the race.”
I hadn’t thought about that before. I wasn’t big on self-analysis. Never had been.
Walking away from racing should have been harder. But Wes had meant more to me than leaving him alone all the time. Or using a nanny while I raced and trained.
“And Katherine isn’t in Wes’s life at all.”
I shook my head. “I’m actually shocked she lasted a few years. I get a text on his birthday every year, but otherwise, she left both of us behind.” The exit for the hospital came up and I let Kelsey’s hand go as I downshifted to turn off.
“God, I couldn’t imagine. I was only his teacher and he was definitely one of my more memorable students. And now he’s mine...well, if you are okay with it.”
We came to a light and I cupped the back of her head to drag her mouth to mine. Just the idea that this woman could want to take both of us on—that she wanted my kid even in the midst of all these huge changes—made my kiss a little wild.
