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I didn’t cover my face, but it was close. My sister was legendary for opening her mouth and inserting hands, feet, and half her torso.
Lucky me.
Ally cleared her throat and glanced between me and my sister with obvious empathy. “Stuff for the shower. It was touch and go collecting it all from Sage and Oliver’s due to the projectile vomiting.”
I shrank back in horror. “Oliver?”
Sage’s eyebrows beetled. “Do you know my husband? He would need to be tranquilized before he endured such natural bodily functions. No, Star. My poor baby.” She sighed. “Stupid virus. I hated leaving her.”
“She’s with Seth and Oliver,” Ally said with a soothing arm pat.
“I hated leaving her,” Sage repeated. “Those two with two babies and Laurie? God.”
“Seth has raised a child of his own through babyhood and into first grade. I’m quite certain he can handle Star’s little spot of the flu.”
“She was erupting from both ends.”
I was looking under the table, trying to see if I could fit under it, when my sister tugged on my braid. “Don’t scare Ry senseless.”
“Star’s fine.” Ally waved it off. “You don’t know my best friend very well, Rylee, but she has a flair for the dramatic. Oliver barely blinked when we left.”
“If barely blinked means he was practically on his knees, begging me not to leave.” Sage pulled out a kitchen chair and set down her pile of bags, half of which toppled over and hit the floor.
Though Kelsey was as big as the circular table, she immediately tried to bend over to clean up the mess. Sage, however, was too busy gesturing with her hands to notice.
“Tip for you, Ry, since you’re the youngest of us. Men are basically children, no matter how old they are. They pretend to be so competent, and they can handle things like hammering nails and such, but when it comes to the biggies? Like changing diapers and staying up with sick babies and wiping up diarrhea off child seats? Yeah, they suck.”
Ally hurried forward to help Kelsey. “Don’t paw through those. That’s shower stuff. You can’t see the theme until the big day.”
Kelsey beamed. “Aww, I love circus animals. That’s so sweet.”
Too late there.
“I told you we should’ve left this stuff at your place,” Ally said over her shoulder to Sage. “Now the surprise is ruined.”
“My house needs a full Lysol sweep. I didn’t want to risk infecting Kel. Do you know how potent that virus is?”
“So, you bring your child over to spend the day with mine? Thanks, bestie.” Ally flipped Sage the middle finger.
Had I really been mildly jealous of my sister being tight with these women? It must be pregnancy hormones. They were very chatty and shared far too much about bodily functions.
Macy’s snark and lack of interest in anything baby-related was much more my speed.
Welcome to your new reality, baby girl. Your world is going to be full of kid stuff.
“Really, you both could’ve skipped today. Ry is here. She can help me set up the registry—”
“Oh, come on, Oliver and Seth are in each other’s pockets constantly. Star will be infecting Alex any day now. Maybe this way he’ll build up some immunity.”
“Or maybe Seth and Oliver will both get sick and we’ll be in hell.” Ally shook Sage’s shoulders. “Hell, woman.”
“Is this what it’s like being knocked up by brothers?” I wondered aloud, causing everyone to turn my way.
I realized after the fact that my question sounded much different than my intent.
“Um,
I don’t mean one woman being knocked up by brothers. I mean, like if you and your sister—” I cleared my throat. Yes, Kelsey and I were definitely biologically related, judging by our mouths. “It was on Jerry yesterday. Good episode.”
