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“Hiya. How was your day?” Pasting on a smile, I dusted off my hands and turned to Murphy, whose arms were full of our dog, the plastic sacks that meant our favorite Chinese place, another brown paper sack that made me think of ice cream, and a huge stuffed brown bear.
I thunked down on my ass.
“You okay?” Murphy set down Latte, who immediately barked to be picked up again. But Murphy seemed to notice the bear in his arms and let out a half laugh. “Oh. This. This is for—”
“You think I’m pregnant, don’t you? Is this for the nursery?”
I wasn’t going to cry.
I so wasn’t.
“Are you pregnant?” His gaze sharpened and the joy I glimpsed in his expression both thrilled and hurt me, because I wanted it too. I wanted to give him that baby. Give it to us.
But it wasn’t just about me. It was about him too, and timing. And if now wasn’t the time, it just wasn’t. Maybe it never would be.
“No.” I drew my knees up to my chest. “You can keep the bear for someday if you want, but maybe it’s better off going to Goodwill for someone else to enjoy because I don’t know if I’m ever going to be pregnant.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Did you hear what I said? I don’t know if I’m ever going to get pregnant, Murphy.”
“I heard you just fine. Have you been granted some future forecasting ability I should be jealous of?”
I almost laughed. Almost. But the frustration won out. “No, I’m just being real. We’ve been trying, tracking everything, and it’s just not working. Yes, it’s early, but who’s to say if it’ll ever work? So, it’s better if we’re just realistic and stop fooling ourselves.”
“Is that what we’ve been doing?” He set down his bags and the bear on the coffee table and crouched down beside me to poke at the fire with a poker. “What are these papers in here?” He pried out the corner of one that hadn’t burned fully yet and frowned over his shoulder at me. “You tossed out your tracking charts? What happened?”
“I got my period, that’s what happened. And I don’t want to get my hopes up every month. Even worse, I don’t want to get your hopes up. You’re bringing home bears for the nursery, for Pete’s sake.”
“No, I brought that bear home for you because I knew you’d gotten your period because of the day and because you asked for Chinese. You always do that on the first day.”
“You know when I get my period?”
He nodded as if I was slightly slow. Which I was, because I’d dragged him into every part of my reproductive cycle. He’d just been paying more attention than I gave him credit for.
I never gave him enough credit.
“So, you knew I had my period, so you brought me Chinese and a bear.” I shifted my sitting position so Latte could climb onto my lap. I cuddled him close, burying my face in his soft fur.
With him, I’d never open my mouth and shove in both feet and both hands.
Probably.
“Don’t forget the ice cream that’s melting on the coffee table.” Murphy smiled and set down the scrap of paper he’d retrieved. “The bear’s name is Sir Mix A Lot, by the way. I was hoping he could watch us have sex tonight.”
The laughter spilled out of me, so loud and hard that Latte’s huge brown eyes grew wide before he dove off my lap and kept going. “You’ve developed a thing for grumpy women on the rag?”
“I’ve had a thing for this woman for forever, and that’s what the shower is for.” He scooped a hand over my wet hair. “Though you’ve been enjoying it without me.”
“Not like that.” I sighed and curved my face into his hand. “Why are you so good to me?”
“Because I love you, Veronica.” His throat moved, the firelight flickering over his tense features. Tension I’d put there. “I should’ve said it before now. Maybe then you wouldn’t be torturing yourself.”
“Oh, God.” His words caused me to bury my face in my hands. “I love you too.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
