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Gently, he pried my hand away from my face. “Can you say that while you’re not hiding?”
I smiled and reached up to cradle his jaw. “I love you, Murphy. So much. And I think it’s made me nuts, or more nuts, because I’m so determined for us to have this little picture-perfect family, and that was never your dream anyway, it was mine. But you gave me literally every other thing I’ve ever wanted, I guess I’m getting greedy by thinking I could have this too.”
“You’re all I ever wanted. Just you. You and Latte,” he added, who barked, probably hoping his name would lead to the proffering of a treat despite the fact he’d just had dinner. “I would love for us to have a baby. Or three babies. Because I love you, and I want you to be happy. Not because I need them for us to be complete. We’re that already, aren’t we?”
“Yes.” I nodded, my eyes filling. “I just want you to have everything too.”
“There’s no baby that could be more everything for me than you are.” He turned his head and took my hand, kissing my fingertips. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Latte barked again, and Murphy laughed as he glanced at the dog. “You too, buddy.”
We both were quiet for a moment, staring into the fire.
“We never know what will happen. We don’t,” Murphy repeated, squeezing my hand. “But if in a few years, we decide we want to expand if it hasn’t happened yet, we can always adopt.”
“Yeah. There’s so many kids that need families. That would be a blessing to them, and us. Even if we had our own, maybe we could.”
He nodded, smiling at me. “We can do anything we want to. We can always make a way.”
“You’re right. I don’t know what I was getting so worked up about.”
“Me either. Since I was getting worked up when you said we’d been fooling ourselves and I thought you were going to say you didn’t need me if there was no kid.”
“What?” Genuinely shocked, I stared at the side of his face. “How could you think that?”
“Maybe because you’re not the only one who feels like they’ve failed. And that’s just insane. We’ve been trying for a couple months. We aren’t even married yet.”
“M-married?” Even with as traditional as Murphy was, that word made my vocal cords seize up. “Us?”
Mainly because I’d never hoped that big in my life.
“Stranger things have happened.” He rubbed his thumb over my knuckles.
“That we’re sitting here at all is strange in the very best way, considering how we got here.” I gave him a soft push and he fell out of his crouch back onto his ass. I straddled his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I could never want anything more than I want this right here. You and me and…the dog,” I whispered, darting a glance to where Latte had finally fallen asleep, head on his bone.
Even with his eyes closed, Latte cocked an ear.
“I could never ask for more, but I do.”
“So do I. I’d love to have to a baby with you. But I’d also love to keep right on practicing, just for the hell of it.”
I smiled and tipped my forehead to his. “Me too.”
“We don’t know what the future holds. I just know I want to keep holding onto you.” He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist, fitting us together as if we were meant to slide together just that way. Puzzle pieces that locked just right.
“And I’ll keep holding onto you, Murphy Masterson.” I glanced over his shoulder at the bear watching us innoc
uously from the coffee table. “But we might have to work up to the bear thing.”
Twenty
Murphy
Fortress,
It’s okay if you’re late. I’m working the closing shift at the cafe. See you later tonight. I love you. Wow, it still feels weird to say. Weird and wonderful.
Love,
