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Or else Asher had super active sperm to go along with his workaholic tendencies. Perhaps that was why he never spoke of Lily’s mom. Considering the situation with me, it was probably a little awkward, but even so. He’d made a baby with her, so you’d think he would find it hard not to mention her loss, even in passing.
Unless it was the same situation as it was with us. Maybe he’d driven by and implanted a baby in her without knowing much about her. If so, he really shouldn’t be going around with that weapon out of its holster.
Like…ever.
“What method of birth control did you use?”
I didn’t flush, but it was a close thing. “Condoms. Multiple.”
Because we hadn’t stopped at one time. Of course not. Had to make sure he hit the baby-shaped bull’s eye.
Dr. Ellis’s eyes widened. “Not at one time.”
I let out a quick laugh before panic strangled it in my chest. “No. I was a virgin, but I wasn’t clueless. Anyway, Asher knew plenty.”
She tried to keep her expression emotionless, but she didn’t succeed. She knew that name.
If you gotta get knocked up, might as well do it by a super rich dude who is known throughout the town, right?
I covered my face with my hands. “Look, don’t tell anyone, okay? Please.”
“Hannah, you know whatever we discuss is confidential. You don’t have to worry.”
“But you know him. That much is obvious. Or you know of him.”
She slipped her hands into the pockets of her white coat. “I apologize for not tempering my reaction. But yes, I know of Asher. ” She sighed. “Such a hard situation.”
“Yes.” I didn’t elaborate. I didn’t feel right about discussing Asher’s life with someone else. Not that I knew much. Dr. Ellis probably knew more than I did.
The whole town most likely did too.
My doctor’s office wasn’t in Crescent Cove itself, but it was just beyond the outskirts. Close enough for Dr. Ellis to hear scuttlebutt for sure. She probably knew the players in a way I did not, living in my own minuscule town nearby with my head buried in pots and pans and now cleaning up doggie poop. Even my jobs in Crescent Cove were new enough that I wasn’t yet familiar with many of the townspeople, although I was learning.
Just not fast enough.
“He really stepped up for Billy and Lily. So, forgive me for speaking out of turn here, but if one of your concerns is that Asher isn’t father material, duty is his middle name.” She smiled and reached for the folder—my folder—behind her while my brain spun on hyper-speed. “Let me write you that vitamin script, and you can be on your way.”
“Dr. Ellis, who’s Billy? I know Lily. Know of her, I mean, since I was actually just hired to be her nanny. Ironic, right?” I let out an uneasy little laugh. “I know her mother died in childbirth. But Asher never mentions her, and he’s definitely never mentioned Billy. Who is he?”
Dr. Ellis stopped writing in mid-sentence and looked up at me. “It isn’t my place to say. I shouldn’t have even acknowledged being familiar with Asher’s situation in the first place. But I’ve known you since you were knee-high to a grasshopper, Hannah, and you’ve dealt with so much recently on your own. But I don’t think you’ll be on your own in this.”
“Please tell me what you know. He hasn’t told me anything.”
She frowned. “He hired you as his nanny and didn’t tell you the particulars?”
“He told me about Lily’s mother dying. That’s it. And he didn’t really hire me in the first place. It was his grandmother who wanted me to be Lily’s nanny. We didn’t realize at first who the other was.” I drove my hands through my hair, ripping apart my braid. “I just want to hide and make all of this go away, and I can’t. I have to be an adult and God, I’m not ready. I still feel like a little girl myself, with no mother to hold me and tell me everything is going to be all right.” My voice cracked and I was horrified at the hot rush of tears burning behind my eyes.
I wasn’t a crier. I wasn’t.
Dr. Ellis studied me with compassionate eyes. “Billy died in a construction accident last fall. He was a single father to a baby girl. Asher was Lily’s godfather.” She released a long breath. “I’m friends with Billy’s neighbor. The whole neighborhood chipped in to start an education fund for that little girl, which turned out to be unnecessary considering, well, who Asher is. But we wanted to help somehow.” Dr. Ellis finished writing on her little pad and set down my folder before coming closer to wrap me in a brief hug.
I clung to her like I was drowning. Between what I’d just learned about Asher and Lily and my own baby—
God, how was I going to figure all of this out?
How were we?
Ten
